(MAN) YOU CAN SEE THAT F OF X EQUALS E TO Y...
TIMES E TO THE X, WHICH IS WHAT WE WERE TRYING TO PROVE.
NOTICE THE ELEGANCE OF THE PROOF. IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
IT ACTUALLY REMINDS ME
"IF MEASURE AND SYMMETRY ARE ABSENT FROM ANY COMPOSITION IN ANY DEGREE, THE, UH, RUIN
"AWAITS BOTH THE INGREDIENTS AND THE COMPOSITION.
MEASURE AND SYMMETRY ARE BEAUTY AND VIRTUE THE WORLD OVER."
(YAWNING)
(WOMAN) HE'S CUTE.
YOU THINK HE'S STRAIGHT? OH, YEAH. HE'S TOO BORING TO BE GAY.
HMM? OH.
IS IT... IS IT 5:15? IS MY WATCH CORRECT?
YES, IT IS.
UH... (CLEARS THROAT)
THA... THANK YOU. UH...
I'M RELEASING YOU A HALF-HOUR EARLY TODAY.
I HAVE, UH... UH, AN APPOINTMENT.
I'M GIVING A LECTURE ON MY NEW BOOK TONIGHT.
IF YOU'RE INTERESTED, PLEASE SEE ME.
UH...OKAY.
UM...TH-THANK YOU.
WHOO!
MMM!
(WOMAN) ROSE, GET THAT MASK OFF YOUR FACE.
IT'S BEEN 15 MINUTES. IT'LL CLOG YOUR PORES.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!
OHH, YOU STUPID BUM!
$3 MILLION A YEAR FOR WHAT?! FOR WHAT?!
COME ON, COME ON! JUST ONE MORE OUT!
(RING)
BARRY NEUFELD.
(HUSKILY) HI, BARRY. IT'S ROSE.
HI. WHAT-- OH, NO, NOT AGAIN. (COUGHING)
I THINK IT'S AN ALLERGIC REACTION TO SOMETHING I ATE. (BAT CRACKING)
COME ON, COME ON, COME ON. (COUGHING) MY THROAT'S STARTING TO CLOSE UP.
OOOHH! SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE DYING.
IT'S THE THIRD TIME THIS MONTH. ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT ALLERGIC TO ME?
BARRY, PLEASE, DON'T THINK THAT. THAT'S A TERRIBLE THING TO THINK.
I'M GONNA BE BLACKLISTED AT EVERY RESTAURANT IN MANHATTAN FOR NOT KEEPING RESERVATIONS.
WHY DON'T YOU CALL ME NEXT WEEK, OK? I-IF YOU STILL WANT TO.
SURE.
FEEL BETTER.
THANK YOU. (COUGHING)
BYE. BYE.
(SIGHS)
THINK I SHOULD START WITH A JOKE? (LAUGHING)
OH, YOU'RE SERIOUS. NO, I DON'T THINK SO. THERE'S NOT ENOUGH TIME.
FOR WHAT? FOR YOU TO DEVELOP A SENSE OF HUMOR. (LAUGHS)
(WOMAN) AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
THE AUTHOR OF ABSOLUTE TRUTH--
COLUMBIA'S VERY OWN PROFESSOR GREGORY LARKIN.
YOU'RE GOING TO BE FINE. (LAUGHS)
THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
I'M HONORED BY THIS WARM AND GRACIOUS WELCOME.
AS I STAND HERE AT THE END OF A JOURNEY,
I'M REMINDED OF SOMETHING DESCARTES ONCE SAID.
"FOR WHETHER I AM AWAKE OR ASLEEP, TWO AND THREE WILL ALWAYS MAKE FIVE,
"A SQUARE CAN NEVER HAVE MORE THAN FOUR SIDES...
"AND IT DOES NOT SEEM POSSIBLE THAT TRUTHS SO CLEAR AND APPARENT...
CAN BE SUSPECTED OF ANY UNCERTAINTY."
UH, THIS BOOK...
HAS TAKEN ME OVER 14 YEARS TO WRITE.
IT IS NOT WITHOUT A LITTLE SADNESS THAT I SAY GOOD-BYE TO IT
CONSUMING MY DAYS AND NIGHTS.
UH, AND NIGHTS. UM...
AND SO, UH...
(STAMMERING) AS I STAND HERE...UH...
UH, AND SO, IN, IN COMING UP-- SUMMING UP--
(HUFFING, MUFFLED SPEECH) EXCUSE ME, I'M FEELING A LITTLE DIZZY, UH...
UH...UH...
I THOUGHT IT WOULD FEEL DIFFERENTLY, I--
I THOUGHT I WOULD KNOW MORE. I DON'T. I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING...
REALLY. THANK YOU ALL FOR...
COMING. (CHUCKLES)
(FEEDBACK CHIRP) WHAT?
(MURMURING, SCATTERED APPLAUSE)
(GREGORY) THANK--THANK YOU.
OH, GOD, WHAT DID I SAY?
IT WAS FINE, ALTHOUGH I'D THINK TWICE
ABOUT DOING VOLUNTEER WORK FOR A SUICIDE HOT LINE.
YOU WERE DOING OKAY UNTIL CANDICE WALKED IN.
DON'T START, HENRY. I JUST FORGOT TO EAT.
YOU SHOULD NEVER DRINK ON AN EMPTY STOMACH.
IT'S PERFECTLY NATURAL.
SHE LEFT YOU, WHAT, A YEAR AGO?
IT WAS THE STUPID WINE.
AND THANK GOD CANDY LEFT WHEN SHE DID,
OR I NEVER WOULD'VE FINISHED THE BOOK.
AND THANK GOD REBECCA LEFT AND CATHERINE AND ALLISON.
YOU'RE THE ONLY GUY I KNOW WHO CAN'T HAVE SEX AND CHEW GUM AT THE SAME TIME.
WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE ABOUT SEX?
BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS ABOUT SEX.
WHEN I'M WITH SOMEONE, WHEN I'M INVOLVED WITH THEM,
I TEND TO GET A LITTLE SIDETRACKED.
GREG, YOU CALL 14 YEARS TO WRITE A BOOK "A LITTLE SIDETRACKED"?
I BET SHE'S STILL OUT THERE.
IF I KNOW CANDICE, SHE'S OUT THERE. NO, NO, NO! HENRY--
YEAH. YEAH, SHE'S OUT THERE.
COME ON, FACE HER LIKE A GROWNUP.
DO ME A FAVOR, HENRY. DON'T LET ME GO HOME WITH HER.
UH, SAY WE'RE GOING OUT TO DINNER.
WE ARE. IT MAY SEEM ODD NOT TO INVITE HER. PLEASE, HENRY.
JUST DON'T LET ME GO HOME WITH HER.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
PROFESSOR-- I'M SORRY.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
OH, IT WAS THAT STUPID WINE.
HELLO, CANDICE.
HI.
YOU LOOK GREAT. THANKS.
I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND ME JUST SHOWING UP LIKE THIS ON YOUR BIG NIGHT. NO.
IT'S JUST, UM... I'VE BEEN THINKING SO MUCH ABOUT YOU LATELY.
REALLY?
MM-HMM.
DO YOU WANT TO GO GET A DRINK?
NO, NO, I'D BETTER NOT.
WANNA GRAB A BITE TO EAT?
(VOICE CRACKING) NO, I'M NOT HUNGRY.
WANT ME TO TAKE YOU HOME?
OKAY.
GOOD TO SEE YOU, HENRY.
BUT, GREG, YOU SAID--
BYE.
(GREGORY) CANDY, DON'T LEAVE. (ZIPPING SOUND)
OH, THAT WAS GREAT. I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA STAY.
WELL, WE'RE DONE. IS MY SHOE THERE? CANDY, I STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOU.
GREG, I DUMPED YOU FOR ANOTHER MAN. HOW COULD YOU STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR ME?
WELL-- BESIDES, I'M STILL SORT OF WITH PAUL.
I THOUGHT THAT WAS OVER.
YEAH, WELL, HE WAS CHEATING ON ME.
I GUESS I JUST WANTED TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT MYSELF
BEFORE I SEE HIM TOMORROW NIGHT.
TH-THAT'S WHY YOU'RE HERE?
WELL, YEAH.
LOOK, YOU WERE ALWAYS SUCH A NICE GUY, BUT LET'S FACE IT.
WE HAD NOTHING IN COMMON EXCEPT SEX AND THE FACT THAT YOU IDOLIZE ME.
UH-- I-I REALLY DO CARE FOR YOU.
REALLY. I JUST CAN'T WIND UP WITH YOU.
WELL, CAN I--CAN I CALL YOU SOMETIME?
(WHISPERS) What for?
(SIGHS)
(GROANING)
NO, I CANCELED.
(SPORTSCASTER) THREE BALLS, ONE STRIKE.
WHAT?
(GROANING)
(WOMAN) I HAD NO CHOICE. (MAN) I HAD NO CHOICE.
(GREGORY GROANS) WHAT IS THIS? TAKE ME!
LOOK AT THIS. YEAH, I WISH I COULD ESCAPE. ESCAPE.
(MAN) THE MATING RITUAL IS BOTH SPEEDY AND VIOLENT
FOR THESE PASSIONATE INSECTS,
WITH THE LESSER MALE OFTEN COVERING THE LARGER FEMALE.
IF UNSUCCESSFUL IN MOUNTING,
MALE MANTIS ARE OFTEN EATEN BY THE FEMALES DURING COPULATION.
(WOMAN) WE'RE THE GIRLS OF 1-400-HOT-TALK.
OH, MY GOD! THERE'S BRIANA, TINA,
MARLA AND ME, FELICIA.
ANYTHING YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT.
CALL ME. CALL ME. CALL ME!
(GREGORY) I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN.
(FELICIA) ARE YOU LONELY TONIGHT, DARLING?
YEAH.
MMM, SO AM I. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?
UH, NOTHING SPECIAL. UH, FELICIA, CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?
WANNA KNOW WHAT I'M WEARING? JUST A TOWEL! NO--
I WAS DRYING MYSELF OFF AFTER A HOT SHOWER WHEN YOU CALLED-- FE-FELICIA? FELICIA?
WHY DO WOMEN LEAVE?
WHAT?
WHY DO WOMEN LEAVE?
ESPECIALLY BEAUTIFUL WOMEN. I CAN'T GO THROUGH THIS ANYMORE.
LIFE IS VERY COMPLEX.
THERE ARE NO GUARANTEES.
WHY SHOULD THAT BE?
THE MATHEMATICAL WORLD IS COMPLETELY RATIONAL, UNCOMPLICATED BY SEX.
YOU THINK TOO MUCH, HON.
FELICIA-- DON'T YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW BIG MY TITS ARE?
I--I--
I JUST WANT TO SHARE MY LIFE WITH SOMEONE...
SOMEONE I'M NOT SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO.
WHAT?
HOW CAN TWO PEOPLE COME TOGETHER FOR WHAT'S
A LASTING AND SUBSTANTIAL MUTUAL RESPECT, GENUINE AFFECTION,
IN A WORLD THAT'S RUN BY AD AGENCIES SELLING GREAT SEX--
TAKE OUT YOUR OWN AD, I GUESS.
AN AD?
MM-HMM.
HMM.
YEAH.
(GREGORY) ...AND BE OVER THIRTY-FIVE.
...NOT...IMPORTANT.
(SIGHS) LOOK AT ME. I'M A GROWN WOMAN WEARING A PROM DRESS.
YOU ARE NOT. YOU LOOK ADORABLE.
ADORABLE? I LOOK LIKE AN OVER-THE-HILL BARBIE DOLL.
IT DOESN'T FIT RIGHT. IT'S TOO TIGHT.
TOO MANY SNOW BALLS.
WHY DIDN'T YOU PICK OUT SOMETHING LOOSER IN MY COLOR?
BECAUSE MAIDS OF HONOR DON'T WEAR BLACK.
IT WOULD HELP IF YOU FIXED YOURSELF UP A LITTLE.
WHY DIDN'T YOU WEAR SOME MAKEUP?
I AM WEARING MAKEUP.
OH. LET'S GO.
(CLAIRE) YOUR HAIR LOOKS GOOD. I LIKE IT. THE CURLS WORK. WHY DIDN'T YOU GET A PERM?
(ROSE) I TRIED. I LOOKED LIKE SHIRLEY TEMPLE ON CRACK.
WHERE THE HELL IS SHE? I'M GONNA KILL HER!
I KNEW SHE WOULD PULL SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
SHE CAN'T STAND THE FACT THAT I'M THE ONE GETTING ALL THE ATTENTION TODAY.
WE SHOULD'VE HAD HER COMMITTED WHEN SHE TURNED 60.
CLAIRE. YOU CAN'T HAVE SOMEONE COMMITTED FOR EXCESSIVE VANITY.
THANK YOU, ROSE. HOW WONDERFUL TO HAVE TWO COMPASSIONATE DAUGHTERS.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO WEAR MAKEUP TODAY.
I AM WEARING MAKEUP. WELL?
OH, MY GOD. UHH--WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING?
THIS HAPPENS TO BE AN IMITATION SCAASI.
YOU'RE THE MOTHER OF THE BRIDE, NOT THE OPENING ACT.
FINE. I'LL GO HOME AND CHANGE.
OH, STOP IT. WE'RE LATE ALREADY. THE PRIEST IS SWEATING.
ALL CELIBATES SWEAT, DEAR. IF THEY DIDN'T, THEY'D EXPLODE.
I JUST WENT TO BUY MYSELF A LITTLE SNACK.
I CAN'T SIT THROUGH THIS GANTSEH MEGILLEH WITHOUT EATING SOMETHING
. I'LL PASS OUT.
IT'LL ONLY TAKE 45 MINUTES.
IT'LL FEEL LIKE TWO HOURS.
NOT TO MENTION THAT YOU'RE MARRYING OUTSIDE YOUR FAITH AND ON THE SABBATH.
OH, MOTHER, THE ONLY THING YOU EVER TAUGHT ME ABOUT THE SABBATH
IS BERGDORF'S WOULDN'T BE AS CROWDED.
NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME. TAKE IT EASY, CLAIRE.
I WANT YOU TO GET OUT THERE, AND I WANT YOU TO REMEMBER TODAY IS MY DAY.
IF YOU DON'T BEHAVE YOURSELF, I'M GOING TO HAVE YOUR BIRTH CERTIFICATE
BLOWN UP AS A CHRISTMAS CARD.
I SHOULD HAVE NEVER ENCOURAGED YOU TO SPEAK.
(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
IS IT POSSIBLE-- NO, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
(GUESTS CHATTERING)
MAYBE SHE'LL LOOK BACK AND TURN INTO A PILLAR OF SALT.
(CHUCKLES)
(WOMAN) SO, HANNAH LOOKS PRETTY GOOD FOR HER AGE.
(EXHALES) ALEX LOOKS NERVOUS.
OH, GOD, I HOPE I'M DOING THE RIGHT THING.
I THINK YOU ARE.
(DISCO MUSIC PLAYS)
(MAN ON P.A.) LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE PARTY IS ABOUT TO GET STARTED.
THE DANCE FLOOR IS ALL YOURS.
(ALEX) OKAY, GIRLS, LICK YOUR LIPS. COME IN CLOSE, COME IN CLOSE.
OH, YEAH! TAKE ME ON! JACKIE, KISS. MMM!
IT'S GOOD TO SEE YA. TELL CLAIRE I'M LOOKING FOR HER.
YOUR HUSBAND'S A LUCKY GUY.
MMM! (CHUCKLING)
OH! (CHUCKLING)
(TOGETHER) WAITER! CAN WE GET MORE DRESSING?
SURE. WE WERE SEPARATED AT BIRTH.
TWO MORE DRINKS, WHEN YOU GET A CHANCE PLEASE.
THAT WOULD BE NICE.
THIS LOOKS DELICIOUS. I'M SO HAPPY.
(D.J.) AND NOW, SOMETHING A LITTLE ROMANTIC FOR ALL THE LOVERS IN THE HOUSE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S MARRIED.
I CAN'T BELIEVE HE CHOSE CLAIRE OVER YOU.
(CHUCKLING) I CAN!
I TOLD YOU NOT TO INTRODUCE THEM.
WELL, SHE ALREADY HAD A HUSBAND. I THOUGHT IT WAS SAFE.
UH-HUH.
SO, HOW ARE YOU HANDLING ALL THIS?
I'VE LEARNED MY LESSON.
NO MORE FANTASIES ABOUT GOOD-LOOKING MEN.
YOU NEVER KNOW.
THERE'S A GUY OUT THERE SOMEWHERE FOR YOU. OH, YEAH?
WHO, BARRY NEUFELD? (LAUGHS)
SO, WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM? (LAUGHING)
BESIDES THE FACT HE LOOKS LIKE GUMPY AND HE IRRITATES THE SHIT OUT OF YOU.
GUMBY! GUMBY, NOT GUMPY. GUMBY. OH.
AH, WHY SHOULD THAT MATTER? I'M NO GREAT PRIZE EITHER.
DON'T SAY THAT. YOU ARE A TERRIFIC PERSON AND A GREAT TEACHER.
THE TRUTH IS, I THINK I'VE JUST REACHED THE POINT.
WHAT POINT?
THE POINT THAT YOU KNOW YOU'LL NEVER GET MARRIED.
MARRIED? WHAT'S MARRIAGE, ANYWAY? YEAH.
OH, COME ON. A RING, A CONTRACT, FIGHTING AND COMPROMISING.
NO, IT CAN BE MORE THAN THAT.
I TELL YOU WHAT I ENVY ABOUT PEOPLE IN LOVE.
YEAH?
I'D LOVE IT IF SOMEONE KNEW ME,
REALLY KNEW ME...
WHAT I LIKE, WHAT I'M AFRAID OF...
WHAT KIND OF TOOTHPASTE I USE.
I THINK THAT... WOULD REALLY BE WONDERFUL.
HEY, HEY, HEY, SISTER-IN-LAW...
MM-MUH. YOU HAVIN' A GOOD TIME HERE?
YEAH.
(D.J.) LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
IN HONOR OF THE BRIDE'S FAMILY-- (CONTINUES, INDISTINCT)
HAVE YOU SEEN CLAIRE? I CAN'T FIND HER ANYWHERE.
I'LL GO FIND HER FOR YOU.
THANK YOU. YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL TONIGHT.
RIGHT.
I'M NOT JUST SAYING THAT. YOU REALLY LOOK--
I HEARD YOU.
WHY DON'T YOU HAVE SOME COFFEE?
I'LL GO FIND CLAIRE.
MMM.
CLAIRE, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? ALEX IS LOOKING FOR YOU.
OH, BROTHER. IT'S STARTING ALREADY?
TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF HER.
HOW COULD YOU DO THIS? I MAY NEVER FORGIVE YOU.
HMM.
HMM!
(PHONE RINGING)
(CLAIRE MOANING PLEASURABLY) MMM, YES. OHH, YES.
OHH. MMM. (COARSELY) YES?
I-I'M PROFESSOR GREGORY LARKIN.
I'M CALLING ABOUT THE, UH, RESPONSE TO MY AD.
IS THIS PROFESSOR MORGAN?
NO, THIS IS HER SISTER. ROSE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW I ANSWERED THE AD.
OH, WELL, THEN MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T BE TALKING.
OH, NO, PLEASE. IT'S JUST THAT ROSE WOULD NEVER ANSWER AN AD HERSELF.
SOME OF THESE GUYS ARE SUCH CREEPS AND LOSERS. YEAH.
UM, BUT WHEN IT SAID YOU TAUGHT AT COLUMBIA...
SOMETHING JUST CLICKED INSIDE.
NOW, YOU HAVE SEEN HER PICTURE, RIGHT?
YES.
AND?
AND WHAT?
NOTHING. GREAT.
(ROSE) SO, THIS IS THE SCENE AT MY SISTER'S WEDDING, RIGHT?
THERE SHE IS, GETTING DRUNK, REGRETTING SHE EVER GOT MARRIED--
(STUDENTS LAUGHING) FOR THE THIRD TIME, MIND YOU.
UM, MY MOTHER IS SO JEALOUS SHE IS SPROUTING SNAKES FROM HER HAIR.
AND I'M THINKING, THIS IS PERFECT.
WE'VE GOT THREE FEMININE
THE DIVINE WHORE-- EXCUSE ME-- MEDUSA AND ME.
WHO AM I? WHAT ARCHETYPE? TREVOR?
THE VIRGIN MARY?
THANKS A LOT, TREVOR.
NO, THE FAITHFUL HANDMAIDEN. ALWAYS THE BRIDESMAID,
NEVER THE BRIDE. (STUDENTS IN UNISON) NEVER THE BRIDE.
IT DOES PROVE, HOWEVER,
THAT MYTHS AND ARCHETYPES ARE ALIVE AND WELL AND LIVING IN MY APARTMENT.
(LAUGHTER)
AS I STOOD AT THE ALTAR BESIDE MY SISTER AND HER HUSBAND-TO-BE,
IT STRUCK ME THAT THIS RITUAL...
CALLED A WEDDING CEREMONY...
IS REALLY JUST THE FINAL SCENE OF A FAIRY TALE.
THEY NEVER TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENS AFTER.
THEY NEVER TELL YOU THAT CINDERELLA DROVE THE PRINCE CRAZY
WITH HER OBSESSIVE NEED TO CLEAN THE CASTLE.
OR SHE MISSED HER DAY JOB, RIGHT?
NO, THEY DON'T TELL US WHAT HAPPENS AFTER BECAUSE THERE IS NO AFTER.
THE BE-ALL AND THE END-ALL OF ROMANTIC LOVE WAS-- MIKE?
UH, SEX? MIKE, MIKE! SEX ON THE BRAIN, MIKE!
RIGHT, YES.
(WOMAN) MARRIAGE.
MARRIAGE, THAT'S RIGHT. BUT IT WASN'T ALWAYS LIKE THAT.
AROUND THE 12th CENTURY, THERE WAS A NOTION KNOWN AS COURTLY LOVE,
WHERE LOVE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH MARRIAGE AND NOTHING TO DO WITH SEX.
IN MOST CASES IT WAS DEFINED AS A PASSIONATE RELATIONSHIP
BETWEEN A KNIGHT AND A LADY OF THE COURT WHO WAS ALREADY MARRIED.
AND SO, THEY COULD NEVER CONSUMMATE THEIR LOVE.
IN THIS WAY THEY WOULD HAVE TO RISE ABOVE YOUR ORDINARY,
UH, YOU KNOW, "GOING TO THE BATHROOM IN FRONT OF EACH OTHER" KIND OF LOVE, RIGHT?
AND THEY WOULD GO AFTER SOMETHING MORE DIVINE.
THEY TOOK SEX OUT OF THE EQUATION,
AND WHAT WAS LEFT WAS A UNION OF SOULS.
SEX WAS ALWAYS THE FATAL LOVE POTION.
LOOK AT THE LITERATURE OF THE TIME. LANCELOT AND GUENEVERE.
TRISTAN AND ISOLDE. ALL CONSUMMATION COULD LEAD TO
WAS MADNESS, DESPAIR, OR DEATH.
(WATCH ALARM BEEPING) CLINICAL EXPERTS,
SCHOLARS AND MY AUNT ESTHER ARE UNITED IN THE BELIEF (CLEARS THROAT)
THAT TRUE LOVE HAS SPIRITUAL DIMENSIONS,
WHILE ROMANTIC LOVE IS NOTHING BUT A LIE, AN ILLUSION,
A MODERN MYTH, A SOULLESS MANIPULATION.
SPEAKING OF MANIPULATION,
IT'S LIKE GOING TO THE MOVIES, AND WE SEE THE LOVERS ON SCREEN KISS,
AND THE MUSIC SWELLS, AND WE BUY IT, RIGHT?
SO WHEN MY DATE TAKES ME HOME AND KISSES ME GOOD NIGHT,
IF I DON'T HEAR THE PHILHARMONIC IN MY HEAD, I DUMP HIM.
(LAUGHTER)
NOW, THE QUESTION IS, WHY DO WE BUY IT? (DOOR SHUTS)
WE BUY IT BECAUSE WHETHER IT'S A MYTH OR A MANIPULATION, LET'S FACE IT,
WE ALL WANT TO FALL IN LOVE, RIGHT?
WHY? BECAUSE THAT EXPERIENCE MAKES US FEEL COMPLETELY ALIVE,
WHERE EVERY SENSE IS HEIGHTENED, EVERY EMOTION IS MAGNIFIED.
OUR EVERYDAY REALITY IS SHATTERED AND WE ARE FLUNG INTO THE HEAVENS.
IT MAY ONLY LAST A MOMENT, AN HOUR, AN AFTERNOON,
BUT THAT DOESN'T DIMINISH ITS VALUE,
BECAUSE WE'RE LEFT WITH MEMORIES THAT WE TREASURE FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES.
I READ AN ARTICLE A WHILE AGO THAT SAID,
"WHEN WE FALL IN LOVE, WE HEAR PUCCINI IN OUR HEADS."
I LOVE THAT.
I THINK IT'S BECAUSE HIS MUSIC FULLY EXPRESSES
OUR LONGING FOR PASSION IN OUR LIVES AND ROMANTIC LOVE.
AND WHILE WE'RE LISTENING TO LA BOHEME OR TURANDOT"
OR READING WUTHERING HEIGHTS OR WATCHING CASABLANCA,
A LITTLE BIT OF THAT LOVE LIVES IN US, TOO.
WHY DO PEOPLE WANT TO FALL IN LOVE
WHEN IT CAN HAVE SUCH A SHORT SHELF-LIFE AND BE DEVASTATINGLY PAINFUL?
WHAT DO YOU THINK? STACIE?
IT LEADS TO PROPAGATION OF THE SPECIES?
MM-HMM. RANDY?
PSYCHOLOGICALLY, WE NEED TO CONNECT WITH SOMEBODY.
COULD BE. JILL?
BECAUSE WE'RE CULTURALLY PRECONDITIONED?
GOOD ANSWERS, BUT MUCH TOO INTELLECTUAL FOR ME. (LAUGHTER)
I THINK IT'S BECAUSE-- AS SOME OF YOU ALREADY MAY KNOW--
WHILE IT DOES LAST, IT FEELS FUCKING GREAT, THAT'S WHY.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
RIGHT?
THANKS. THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
(CLICKING SOUNDS)
I'M HALFWAY THROUGH MY MEAL, AND YOU HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED YET.
THE PERFECT BITE.
MMM!
YOU NEED A THERAPIST.
(SILVERWARE CLINKS)
OH, ROSE, DO WE HAVE TO HAVE THE TELEVISION ON?
CAN'T WE HAVE A CIVILIZED CONVERSATION?
I KNOW I'M NOT AS INTELLECTUALLY STIMULATING
AS SOME OF YOUR UNIVERSITY PEOPLE.
ALL RIGHT. OKAY. I'M SORRY. HOW WAS YOUR DAY, MOTHER?
WHO GIVES A SHIT?
COME ON, I SAID I WAS SORRY.
LET'S TALK.
I'VE LIVED TOO LONG.
I SHOULD BE DEAD, NOT HAVING CONVERSATIONS.
WILL YOU STOP IT, PLEASE? GIVE ME THAT.
TALK TO ME ALREADY.
ALL RIGHT.
YOU HAVEN'T EVEN NOTICED I'VE HAD MY HAIR DONE DIFFERENTLY.
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. I THOUGHT YOU LOOKED DIFFERENT.
MM-HMM, MM-HMM. LOOKS GREAT.
WHAT'S DIFFERENT ABOUT IT?
THE, UM...
THERE'S NOTHING DIFFERENT ABOUT IT.
YOU'RE JUST LIKE YOUR FATHER-- SO EASY TO TRIP UP.
(CLOCK CHIMING)
SO, UH...
HOW...HOW IS WORK?
(SIGHS) SAME AS ALWAYS.
ALTHOUGH, I HAD ONE CUSTOMER COME IN LOOKING FOR A MAKEOVER.
SHE NEEDED ONE.
DYED BLOND HAIR, BLUE EYE SHADOW, ASH-BROWN FOUNDATION.
HIDEOUS. HIDEOUS.
ANYWAY, SHE WAS SHOCKED WHEN SHE FOUND OUT HOW OLD I WAS.
OH? HOW OLD WERE YOU?
SORRY.
I RAN INTO MR. JENKINS AGAIN.
OH, YEAH? HE CORNERED ME IN THE ELEVATOR.
HE WANTS TO TAKE ME TO SOME ALZHEIMER'S BENEFIT. I SAID, "FORGET IT."
(GIGGLES)
I CAN'T BELIEVE HE STILL ASKS YOU AFTER ALL THESE YEARS.
WHY DON'T YOU GO WITH HIM SOMETIME? OH, PLEASE.
THOSE DAYS ARE OVER. I RAISED TWO DAUGHTERS. I BURIED A HUSBAND.
THAT'S MY LIFE. I HAVE NO INTEREST IN STARTING ANOTHER ONE.
BESIDES, HE KNOWS MY SITUATION WITH YOU.
YOU'RE NOT SEEING HIM BECAUSE OF ME?
HOW WOULD IT LOOK? THE MOTHER'S DATING, AND THE DAUGHTER STAYS HOME ALONE?
MOM...
WHO'S LOOKING?
HELLO. HI.
HELLO.
THIS IS, UH... HELLO, I'M...
I'M GREGORY LARKIN.
PROFESSOR GREGORY LARKIN.
(LINE RINGING)
(RING)
ANSWER THE PHONE, I'M SLEEPING!
(GREGORY) HELLO. HELLO.
YES, IS PROFESSOR LARKIN THERE? WHO?
UH, I MEAN, IS PROFESSOR MORGAN THERE?
BARELY. WHO'S THIS?
THIS IS GREGORY LARKIN.
I'M A PROFESSOR AT THE-- IN THE MATH DEPARTMENT AT COLUMBIA.
I WAS JUST, UH, CALLING TO SEE, UH--
WHAT? UH, HOW YOU ARE TONIGHT?
MMM. I'M FINE. HOW YOU ARE?
(SNORTS, LAUGHS)
FINE. (LAUGHING CONTINUES)
(LAUGHS) UH--
I HOPE IT WASN'T PRESUMPTUOUS OF ME...
(TV AUDIO INDISTINCT) BUT I SAT IN ON ONE OF YOUR CLASSES.
(REMOTE CONTROL CLICKS) (LIGHT JAZZ)
I WAS VERY IMPRESSED. I WAS HOPING WE COULD HAVE DINNER.
HOLD ON. COULD YOU TALK LOUDER, PLEASE? (CLICKING)
I SAT IN ON YOUR CLASS TODAY.
HOLD ON A MINUTE. DON'T GO AWAY.
I WAS IMPRESSED WITH YOURTEACHING.
I WAS HOPING WE COULD HAVE DINNER SATURDAY NIGHT.
(LOUD TV RACKET)
I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS!
(TURNS OFF)
HELLO? CAN YOU HEAR ME? ALL RIGHT.
HELLO? OKAY, LET'S START AGAIN.
YOU'RE A MATH TEACHER, AND YOU WANNA EAT DINNER.
I SAT IN ON ONE OF YOUR CLASSES. ROSE, WHO'S ON THE PHONE?
BE QUIET. I'M SORRY.
NO, NOT YOU. WHO'S CALLING?
I DON'T KNOW!
GREGORY LARKIN, MATH DEPARTMENT, COLUMBIA.
(GREGORY) THE THEORY OF IMPLICIT DIFFERENTIATION IS OFTEN THOUGHT OF AS COMPLEX,
UH, BUT IN REALITY IT IS QUITE SIMPLE.
IT'S SIMPLY A MATTER OF PRETENDING...
THAT Y IS A FUNCTION OF X.
AND SO, UM--
MMM. UH. HI.
OH, HI. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
I SAW YOU PASS BY.
YEAH, I WAS JUST PASSING BY, AND, UH-- UH...
I'M SORRY ABOUT CALLING THE OTHER NIGHT. I'M SORRY. (LAUGHING)
I HOPE I DIDN'T DISTURB YOU. UH-- I WAS SO CONFUSED, I--
SO, UH, ARE WE ON FOR SATURDAY NIGHT?
SURE. GOOD. I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.
HMM. MOI AUSSI. (CHUCKLES)
HMM.
OHH!
WHEW!
SO, THIS ONE MUST BE VERY GOOD-LOOKING
FOR YOU TO GO TO ALL THIS TROUBLE.
OH, I HATE LIPSTICK. I CAN'T STAND IT.
THAT'S NOT A GOOD COLOR FOR YOU.
DID YOU TRY THE SAMPLES I BROUGHT HOME?
DOESN'T MATTER. I'M NOT GOING.
OH, UH, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO FOR DINNER?
I DON'T CARE ABOUT DINNER. I'M UPSET.
CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I'M UPSET? HOW SHOULD I KNOW?
YOU'RE ALWAYS SO RELIEVED WHEN YOU CANCEL YOUR DATES. THIS IS NOT A DATE.
WE'RE JUST AGREEING TO EAT AT THE SAME TABLE. THEN WHY DOES IT MATTER...
HOW YOU LOOK UNLESS YOU THINK SOMETHING MIGHT HAPPEN WITH THIS ONE?
STOP CALLING HIM "THIS ONE." IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE PICKING OUT A LOBSTER.
NOTHING'S GOING TO HAPPEN. HE JUST LIKES THE WAY I TEACH.
YOU NEED MORE COLOR.
MORE COLOR THAN THIS?
YES. SIT DOWN AND LET ME DO IT.
ALL RIGHT. DON'T MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A CLOWN.
NO. YOU WON'T LOOK LIKE A CLOWN. YOU HAVE TO BLEND.
WHERE'S THE HAIRPIECE?
HERE. DO YOU WANT ME TO MAKE YOU SOMETHING BEFORE I LEAVE?
IT'S NOT SUCH A BAD THING
TO KEEP A MAN WAITING. YOU DON'T WANT HIM TO THINK
HE'S THE ONLY DATE YOU'VE HAD IN YEARS. IT'S NOT A DATE!
GIVE ME THE BOW. WHERE'S THE BOW? HERE!
HI, EDDIE. HEY, YOUR MOTHER DID YOU UP AGAIN.
LOOKS TERRIFIC. WANT ME TO GET YOU A CAB? THANK YOU.
NO, I'M FINE. ALL RIGHT.
OOH, GOOD! SIR!
HEY! WHAT? (HONKING)
(TIRES SCREECH)
SORRY!
HELLO!
(TIRES SCREECH)
ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS? YES, LADY, GET IN.
NOW WERE YOU GONNA TAKE ME? GET IN, LADY.
THANKS.
HERE'S WHERE I'M GOING.
BUT DON'T GO UNTIL I PUT UP YOUR WINDOW. OKAY.
OH, NO! NO! MY HAIR! THEY'RE BROKE, LADY. THEY'RE BOTH BROKE, LADY.
DON'T COMPLAIN TO ME. COMPLAIN TO THE CAB COMPANY. IT'S NOT MY CAB, LADY.
(TIRES SCREECHING) HOW DO YOU DRIVE WITH BROKEN WINDOWS?
(PANTING)
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
UHH! HI!
HI! HI. (BREATHLESSLY) I'M SORRY. I APOLOGIZE.
SORRY? APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT? YOU'RE EXACTLY ON TIME.
I MEANT MY HAIR.
(NERVOUS CHUCKLING) I MUST LOOK LIKE I WAS ATTACKED BY WOLVES.
OH, WELL, THEN I APOLOGIZE, I-- MMM.
I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE.
UM...AH, YEAH, WELL...
COULD YOU EXCUSE ME WHILE I JUST GO TO THE LADIES ROOM FOR JUST A MINUTE?
SURE. SURE. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, OKAY?
(GREGORY) UH, YOU ENJOY DANCING?
(ROSE) UM, YEAH. I USED TO LOVE TO DANCE WITH MY FATHER.
YOU? OH, I FIND IT RATHER EMBARRASSING.
REALLY? I ENJOY WATCHING.
OH. THANK YOU. OH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
MM-HMM.
WATCHING? PAIRS.
IT'S INTERESTING HOW COUPLING APPEARS ALL THROUGHOUT NATURE AND IN MATHEMATICS.
MMM. OH, YOU WERE TELLING ME SOMETHING ABOUT PAIRS.
OH, THE TWIN PRIME CONJECTURE.
YES, WELL, IT EXPLORES PAIRS OF PRIME NUMBERS;
UH, NUMBERS THAT ARE ONLY DIVISIBLE BY THEMSELVES.
THREE-FIVE, UH, FIVE-SEVEN.
NOT SEVEN-NINE, BECAUSE--
NINE CAN BE DIVIDED BY THREE.
TH-THAT'S RIGHT. HEH! TH-THAT'S RIGHT.
THEN YOU HAVE 11-13, 17-19 AND SO ON.
AND WHAT WAS DISCOVERED WAS THAT WHAT OFTEN OCCURRED...
WERE PAIRS SEPARATED BY, UH--
ONE NUMBER IN BETWEEN.
EXACTLY! EXACTLY!
UH, DID YOU READ MY BOOK?
NO. (CHUCKLES) NO, I'M SORRY.
NO, THAT'S ALL RIGHT. THIS IS REALLY MARVELOUS. YEAH.
FIRST DATE WHERE I FEEL LIKE I'M WINNING ON A GAME SHOW.
OH, I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN TO LECTURE.
OH, I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN TO CALL IT A DATE.
NO, IT'S JUST SO RARE THAT I MEET A PERSON THAT I CAN DISCUSS THESE THINGS WITH.
REALLY? IT JUST SOUNDS KIND OF ODD-- IT'S, UH--
SOME PEPPER? NOT FOR ME. THANK YOU.
WHEN YOU GET A CHANCE, CAN YOU BRING ME
A LITTLE SIDE DISH OF EXTRA DRESSING, PLEASE?
CERTAINLY.
I DON'T PARTICULARLY LIKE SALAD. I JUST LIKE THE DRESSING.
AH.
THIS TWIN PRIME CONJECTURE IS INTERESTING.
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU COUNTED PAST A MILLION?
WOULD THERE STILL BE PAIRS LIKE THAT?
CAN'T BELIEVE YOU-- YOU THOUGHT OF THAT. UM,
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT IS YET TO BE PROVEN IN THE TWIN PRIME CONJECTURE.
REALLY? SAY, YOU KNOW, UM...
I HAVE, UM, THESE TICKETS FOR A CONCERT NEXT SATURDAY.
I WAS WONDERING IF WE COULD DO THIS AGAIN.
SURE.
GREAT. TERRIFIC.
WHAT WAS IT YOU WANTED TO DISCUSS ABOUT MY TEACHING?
OH, UM...WELL, UH,
I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE.
THAT WAS JUST AN EXCUSE TO MEET YOU. HOPE YOU DON'T MIND.
MIND?
NOT THAT I DIDN'T FIND YOUR CLASS FASCINATING.
UH, IN FACT, I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS, THE FIRST OF WHICH IS...
H-H-HOW DO YOU GET THEM TO STAY?
(LOCK CLICKS)
WELL?
NOTHING.
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR?
DON'T ASK.
YOU DON'T THINK YOU'LL SEE HIM AGAIN?
NO, WE'RE GOIN' OUT NEXT WEEK.
SO, HE MUST LIKE YOU.
MMM.
DID HE KISS YOU?
NO.
OH.
IT'S KIND OF SWEET, ACTUALLY.
MMM.
(CAROL OF THE BELLS PLAYS)
SHH.
HEY. THIS IS CINDY. HI.
THIS IS A SPECTRUM ANALYZER. HMM.
I-I-IT MAKES GRAPHIC REPRESENTATIONS OF THE MUSIC.
WATCH. THAT'S FUN. YEAH.
GREG! HEY!
WHO'S THE GIRL?
ROSE MORGAN.
HELLO, ROSE.
HENRY FINE. HE'S A PROFESSOR HERE IN ANTHROPOLOGY.
AHH. HI, HENRY.
(ROSE) BEAUTIFUL MUSIC, ISN'T IT?
BEAUTIFUL. BEAUTIFUL ATMOSPHERE.
HI, MISS MORGAN. HI.
YOU CAN DO BETTER!
SHH!
(YAWNING) UHH!
HMM! AH!
(FINALE)
OH, GOSH, I ENJOYED THAT.
WASN'T THAT TERRIFIC?
OH, YEAH. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR INVITING ME. OH, MY PLEASURE.
HEY, WHY DON'T YOU COME UP TO MY APARTMENT?
I LIVE JUST ACROSS THE STREET. I WANT TO GIVE YOU A COPY OF MY BOOK.
OH, I'D LOVE THAT. GREAT!
A COPY OF YOUR BOOK, I MEAN.
I DIDN'T MEAN TO IMPLY I WANT TO COME UP TO YOUR APARTMENT.
BUT, BUT, ROSE, I'M INVITING YOU UP.
OH, YEAH, WELL--
IF YOU LIKE THIS KIND OF MUSIC, I HAVE SOME WONDERFUL CDs,
BUT THEY'RE, UH... WELL, THEY'RE ALSO IN MY APARTMENT. (LAUGHS)
GREG, LOOK, I HAVE TO BE HONEST WITH YOU.
I, UH...I'M A LITTLE OUT OF PRACTICE AT THIS.
ROSE, I WANT YOU TO FEEL COMFORTABLE. THAT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO ME.
IT IS? YES. SO, I WANT TO TELL YOU UP FRONT, I...
I'M NOT INTERESTED IN SEX.
YOU'RE NOT?
NO, AND IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. IT DOESN'T?
NO, UH, IT ACTUALLY HAS TO DO WITH WHAT YOU WERE TALKING
ABOUT IN YOUR CLASS THE OTHER DAY.
IT DOES? YES, I, TOO, BELIEVE THAT IT'S ILLUSIONS ABOUT LOVE...
AND THE EMPHASIS ON SEX THAT KEEPS PEOPLE TODAY SEPARATE AND ALONE.
A-A-AS YOU SAID YOURSELF, ROMANCE IS A MYTH; A MANIPULATION.
OH, NO, WAIT. I WAS REFERRING TO ACADEMIC OPINIONS
THAT ARE PURELY SUBJECTIVE.
BUT, ROSE, YOU WERE RIGHT. I WASN'T NECESSARILY--
RELATIONSHIPS THAT ARE BASED ON ROMANTIC LOVE ARE WORTHLESS.
THERE'S NO POINT TO THEM. THEY HAVE NO VALUE.
DID YOU STAY FOR MY WHOLE CLASS?
NO, NO, I, UH-- (CHUCKLES) I LEFT WHILE YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT
THE MUSIC THAT WE HEAR WHEN LOVERS KISS IN THE MOVIES.
AND I AGREE, IT IS SO MANIPULATIVE BECAUSE IN REAL LIFE,O
WE DON'T HEAR MUSIC WHEN WE KISS, AND THE PERSON YOU'RE WITH ISN'T A MOVIE STAR.
IT'S A MALICIOUS, UH, UH, A MALICIOUS-- FANTASY?
FANTASY! FANTASY, RIGHT. YEAH.
IS IT ALL RIGHT IF I SIT DOWN? GO AHEAD.
THIS ADDICTION TO BEAUTY AND PERFECTION,
UH, UH, THAT IS CREATED BY ADVERTISING,
IT JUST FEEDS ON PEOPLE'S PATHETIC DESIRES.
PEOPLE--THEY DON'T HAVE THEIR OWN OPINIONS ANYMORE. DO YOU AGREE?
WELL, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. THE MEDIA TELLS US WHAT'S BEAUTIFUL AND WHAT'S NOT.
UH, TV SHOWS TELL US WHAT A RELATIONSHIP IS SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE AND FEEL LIKE.
AND SEX-- YEAH?
I DON'T EVEN WANT TO TELL YOU HOW THAT'S RUINED MY LIFE. GO AHEAD, TELL ME.
WELL...I GO CRAZY. LITERALLY. REALLY? YEAH?
WHEN I WANT SOMEONE SEXUALLY, I GO OUT OF MY MIND. NO KIDDING.
DO YOU REMEMBER THAT-- THAT MOVIE WHERE THE WOMAN,
YOU KNOW, KILLS THE BUNNY? UH...
FATAL ATTRACTION? RIGHT. NOW GRANTED, THAT WAS A FILM,
YEAH, IT WAS A FILM. I CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT WOMAN WAS GOING THROUGH.
YOU CAN? NOT THAT I WOULD EVER KILL AN INNOCENT ANIMAL,
THAT'S GOOD. I'M ALL TOO FAMILIAR WITH THAT FEELING YOU GET
WHEN YOU WANT SOMEONE SO MUCH IT PHYSICALLY HURTS NOT TO HAVE THEM.
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
IT DRIVES PEOPLE CRAZY,
AS YOU SAID IN YOUR CLASS. I SAID THAT?
AT THE END OF IT, YOU'RE EITHER MAD, ALONE, OR...
I SAID DEAD, DEAD. DEAD!
THE OPERATIVE WORD WAS "FICTION."
RIGHT, ROSE, OR DEAD. DEAD.
NOW, I DO BELIEVE TWO PEOPLE CAN COME TOGETHER,
EVEN MARRY, FOR REASONS THAT ARE MORE, UH, CONCRETE, MORE MEANINGFUL THAN SEX.
A LOVE THAT GROWS IN TIME OUT OF, UH,
RESPECT, LOVE, TRUST, COMMON INTEREST.
YOU EVER NOTICE HOW MOST FRIENDSHIPS LAST LONGER THAN MOST MARRIAGES?
WELL, THAT'S TRUE, BUT MAR-- IT'S VERY UNUSUAL THINKING IN THIS DAY AND AGE,
BUT I THINK THE 12th CENTURY WAS ONTO SOMETHING.
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME COFFEE? TEA?
YOU GOT ANY SCOTCH?
YEAH. COME ON.
SO, ARE YOU BUSY DURING THE WEEK?
UM, WELL, I--
I WAS HOPING YOU COULD HELP ME WITH MY TEACHING.
I'M SURE YOU'RE MUCH BETTER THAN YOU GIVE YOURSELF CREDIT.
MAYBE YOU COULD SIT IN ON ONE OF MY CLASSES, TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK. OH, SURE.
FOR EXAMPLE, IF X SQUARED PLUS Y SQUARED EQUALS 16...
HOW DO YOU FIND DY/DX AS AN IMPLICIT FUNCTION OF X AND Y?
WELL, Y IS A FUNCTION OF X,
SO WE DIFFERENTIATE BOTH SIDES.
THE RIGHT HAND SIDE IS MERELY ZERO... (GRUNTS)
WHAT IS THE LEFT HAND SIDE?
THE BODY LANGUAGE, IT'S VERY DETACHED, IT'S VERY ALIENATING.
I MEAN, YOU SEE WHAT I'M SAYING?
I--I--I JUST THINK THAT YOU HAVE TO RELATE MORE TO THE KIDS,
UH, ENGAGE THEM.
YOU'RE UP THERE WITH YOUR BACK TO THE ROOM,
HAVING A GREAT TIME SOLVING YOUR OWN PROBLEMS.
IT'S LIKE YOU'RE HAVING A MATH PARTY AND YOU ONLY INVITED YOURSELF.
NO MATH PARTY. NO MATH PARTY.
SO RELAX, LOOSEN UP, UH, HAVE SOME FUN WITH IT.
RELAX, HAVE FUN. WHAT WAS THE OTHER THING YOU SAID?
(CHUCKLES) UH, LOOSEN UP. PUT THE PEN DOWN.
I'M NOT GONNA TEST YOU ON THIS STUFF.
COME ON, TEACH ME SOMETHING. ANYTHING.
OKAY. UM... MM-HMM.
IF, UM, A BALL IS THROWN INTO THE AIR
AND ITS HEIGHT, H, EQUALS 100T...
GREGORY, YOU SEE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
T SQUARED. HMM? NO, TURN AROUND.
TALK TO ME.
OKAY. UH-HUH.
T IS TIME IN SECONDS. AT WHAT LIMIT IS THE SPEED APPROACHING WHEN T APPROACHES TWO SECONDS?
YOU LOST ME. I'M ABSOLUTELY--
WHAT DOES ALL THAT MEAN? YOU HAVE TO PUT IT IN SOME CONTEXT.
MAKE UP A STORY, JAZZ IT UP A LITTLE, MAYBE FIND SOME HUMOR IN IT.
HUMOR IN CALCULUS?
HMM. WELL, TRY TELLING A STORY.
A STORY. RIGHT.
OH, OKAY.
UH, ONCE UPON A TIME... UH-HUH.
THERE WAS A BALL...
...AND...IT WAS THROWN INTO THE AIR.
UH...AND ITS HEIGHT, UH...
(SIGHS)
MAYBE I SHOULD JUST WRITE BOOKS.
WHY? NO ONE UNDERSTANDS THOSE, EITHER. (LAUGHS) JUST KIDDING.
UH...(LAUGHS) JUST-- DON'T GIVE UP, DON'T GIVE UP.
DO IT AGAIN. TRY IT AGAIN.
TELL YOU ANOTHER STORY? RIGHT. ANOTHER STORY.
UMM...UH... HI, PROFESSOR LARKIN? OH, I'M SORRY.
I'M SORRY. NO, NO, NO.
UH, TH-THAT'S ALL RIGHT. UMM...
DO WE HAVE AN APPOINTMENT?
NO. ACTUALLY, I WANTED TO MAKE ONE.
IT'S ABOUT NEXT SEMESTER.
UH...UH...UH... UH, TOMORROW?
UH, COULD YOU COME BACK TOMORROW AFTER CLASS? YEAH.
THANKS.
MY HEAD IS SWIMMING. IT'S HOT IN HERE.
WHY DON'T YOU PUT YOUR HEAD BETWEEN YOUR LEGS?
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
PRETTY GIRL. VERY PRETTY.
HOW COULD YOU TELL UNDER ALL THAT MAKEUP? YOU DON'T USE MAKEUP, DO YOU?
WHAT'S THE POINT? I'D STILL LOOK LIKE ME, ONLY IN COLOR.
NO, YOU'RE JUST TOO SMART FOR ALL THAT.
YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. YOU'RE A CONFIDENT, NO-NONSENSE, NO-FRILLS KIND OF WOMAN.
I SOUND LIKE AN AIRLINE.
I'M SORRY. I'M PROBABLY SAYING IT WRONG.
IT'S JUST THAT YOU DON'T NEED ANY OF THAT, ROSE.
(CHUCKLES)
THANKS.
HOW'S YOUR HEAD?
I THINK I'M ALL RIGHT. I THINK, YOU KNOW, FOOD WILL HELP YOU.
PIZZA, MAYBE? YEAH. YEAH, THAT'D BE GREAT.
(ROSE) WHERE COULD WE GO? SOMEPLACE INTERESTING.
I WANT TO GO SO BAD.
OH, YOU COULD TAKE ME TO THAT GREAT DESSERT PLACE.
WHY IS EVERYTHING THAT'S DELICIOUS FATTENING?
MY MOTHER WOULD KILL ME, BUT I'D LOVE--WHAT IS THAT? DANISH? CINNAMON?
LOOK, LOOK. AHH! WHAT? OOH!
THIS IS THE ONE RIGHT HERE. UH, UH, MA'AM? THAT IS SO BEAUTIFUL.
(GREGORY) TREES. THEY'RE SO FASCINATING.
THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE TO TOUCH TO PROPAGATE, YOU KNOW.
(LAUGHING) GREG, YOU WOULD FIND THAT FASCINATING.
HOW MANY DO I NEED? YOU NEED A TWO.
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX.
SIX? OH, YEAH, RIGHT. WHY DIDN'T I SEE THAT?
I AM STUPID. ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE...
THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I OWE YOU ONE.
SOMETIMES YOU DON'T SEE WHAT'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE.
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR...
SIX AND FIVE. GOTCHA.
OH, THE PRETZEL! (BOTH LAUGHING)
I'M LOOKING AT MINE.
I'M NOT READY TO WRITE, BUT LET ME RUN THIS BY YOU.
I WANT TO GIVE MY IDEA
ABOUT FALLING IN LOVE IS A SOCIETAL, MAN-MADE
CULTURAL CREATION AND EXPAND THAT
TO INCLUDE A BIOLOGICAL PARTICIPATION AND ITS EFFECT ON THE INDIVIDUAL.
DO YOU SEE? YOU NEED A HOBBY. (LAUGHING)
OH, YOU'RE GONNA GET IT NOW, KID! OH, YEAH?
OH! OH! (LAUGHING)
(WOMAN) GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'VE BEEN DATING THREE MONTHS
AND YOU HAVEN'T EVEN KISSED.
I CAN'T FIGURE OUT THE LOGISTICS OF THAT. HOW DO YOU SAY HELLO?
WELL, WE NOD. IT WORKS, KIND OF.
ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU HAVEN'T EVEN TOUCHED?
WELL, I FELL DOWN ONCE, AND HE PICKED ME UP. DOES THAT COUNT? HA HA!
WE TALK A LOT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. ABOUT WHAT?
ABOUT EVERYTHING. IT'S GREAT.
I DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT I SAY, WHAT I WEAR, WHAT I EAT.
IT'S SUCH A RELIEF EATING IN FRONT OF A MAN
AND NOT WORRYING WHETHER HE'S GONNA GET FRIGHTENED OR NOT. I LIKE THAT.
HE'S REALLY FUN TO BE WITH, TOO. YEAH?
MAYBE FUN IS TOO CHEERFUL A WORD. HE'S INTERESTING. INTERESTING.
HOW MANY MEN CAN YOU SAY THAT ABOUT? NOT MANY.
DO YOU THINK A TIE IS TOO PERSONAL A BIRTHDAY GIFT?
NOT UNLESS YOU'RE PLANNING TO USE IT ON SOMETHING ELSE OTHER THAN HIS NECK.
OH! (CHUCKLES) HEE-HEE!
DOES HE LOOK GOOD IN VESTS? HE'D LOOK GOOD IN A GARBAGE BAG.
WHY DO YOU WANT HIM TO MEET YOUR MOTHER? I DON'T. IT WAS MY BIG MOUTH.
I KEPT TELLING HIM WHAT A GREAT COOK I WAS.
NEXT THING I KNOW, I'M OFFERING A BIRTHDAY DINNER.
I'VE GOT TO FIND HIM SOMETHING NICE, 'CAUSE AFTER HE MEETS HER I'LL NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN.
(CLAIRE) HI, GIRLS. ROSE!
HI! HI, CLAIRE. HI, CLAIRE.
I'M STARVING. CAN WE EAT?
YEAH, YEAH. SURE. HONEY, I HATE TO TURN DOWN A MEAL,
BUT I GOT A DATE WITH A POSTGRAD.
CLAIRE, HELP HER FIND A GIFT FOR DR. STRANGELOVE.
WHO? NOTHING.
YOU KNOW, WE SHOULD GET YOU SOME BLUSH.
NO! I'M HUNGRY, CLAIRE.
FRUIT! FRUIT?
YES, FRUIT. WHY ARE YOU SO GRUMPY TODAY? HOW'S EVERYTHING GOING?
OH, PLEASE. I SWEAR, IF HE WASN'T GORGEOUS, RICH, AND STRAIGHT,
I WOULDN'T HAVE EVEN BOTHERED. WHAT'S WRONG?
NOTHING. I'M JUST SICK TO DEATH OF THE MAN I'M BOUND TO FOR ETERNITY, THAT'S ALL.
WHY ARE YOU SAYING THAT? WHY AM I SAYING THAT? TWO SOUPS, PLEASE.
BECAUSE NO MATTER WHERE I GO, NO MATTER WHAT I DO, THERE HE IS.
IN THE KITCHEN, IN THE BATHROOM, ON THE PHONE, ON MY FINGER.
I WAS ASLEEP THE OTHER NIGHT AND I WAKE UP. MM-HMM.
HE'S STARING AT ME. STARING AT YOU?
YEAH. I THINK THAT'S SWEET.
SWEET? I THINK IT'S KIND OF STRANGE. UH, HEY, WE'RE DONE. LET'S GO.
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW WEIRD THAT MAKES ME FEEL?
I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF ONE OF MY LESBIAN ORGY DREAMS,
AND HE'S STARING AT ME LIKE I'M SUPPOSED TO INCLUDE HIM.
I CAN'T EVEN FANTASIZE IN PRIVATE.
(CASHIER) HERE'S YOUR CHANGE, HON.
THANK YOU.
(CHUCKLES) ONE SOUP.
(SIGHS) SO...
MOM SAID YOU'VE BEEN SEEING SOMEBODY PRETTY STEADY.
SHE DID? HMM. IS HE CUTE?
MMM...
OH, SHIT.
WHAT? HI, GIRLS.
OH, HI, ALEX. ROSE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
WELL, I, UH, I THOUGHT I'D MEET YOU FOR COFFEE.
IS THAT A TERRIBLE THING TO DO?
MMM. EXCUSE ME.
I'M GOING TO THE LADIES' ROOM...ALONE.
HMM.
WOW. CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS WEATHER?
IT'S ALMOST APRIL, AND IT'S STILL COLD.
I'M GLAD I HAVE YOU ALONE, ACTUALLY.
CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION? MM-HMM.
IT'S GONNA SOUND STRANGE, BUT, UM...
IS CLAIRE HAPPY?
I MEAN, DO YOU THINK SHE'S HAPPY?
UM, YES, I-I THINK SHE IS. WHY?
I'M BEING SILLY. FIRST-TIME HUSBAND, I GUESS.
(SIGHS) IF SHE DOESN'T WAKE UP EVERY MORNING TELLING ME HOW ECSTATIC SHE IS,
I...I WORRY.
HMM.
DID YOU EVER THINK THAT WHEN YOU AND I FIRST MET, I'D END UP MARRYING YOUR SISTER?
AND I HAVE YOU TO THANK FOR IT.
YOU MADE THIS POSSIBLE. (SIGHS)
KNOWING YOU HAS CHANGED MY LIFE, ROSE.
DON'T DO-- DON'T DO THAT.
WHAT? WHAT AM I DOING?
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW, DO YOU?
OH, ROSE.
JUST TELL CLAIRE THAT I HAD TO RUN, OKAY?
ROSE, ROSE, I'M SORRY.
WOW, I REALLY THOUGHT I WAS OVER HIM. I HATE THIS.
(SNIFFS) IT'S SO STUPID. I MUST SOUND SO PATHETIC.
NO, NO. NOT AT ALL.
HE ASKED IF CLAIRE WAS HAPPY, AND I LIED.
ISN'T THAT AWFUL?
NOTHING CRIMINAL. (CHUCKLES)
THANK YOU FOR SEEING ME ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE.
YOU SOUNDED SO UPSET OVER THE PHONE. ARE YOU FEELING ANY BETTER NOW?
YEAH. YEAH, A LITTLE.
YOU KNOW, ROSE, IT TAKES TIME.
YEAH, I KNOW.
GREG, I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I...
I REALLY VALUE OUR FRIENDSHIP.
IT MEANS A LOT TO ME.
I FEEL THE SAME WAY, WHICH IS WHY TONIGHT--
TONIGHT! I BETTER GO HOME, BECAUSE I HAVE TO GET DINNER READY.
I'LL SEE YOU AT 8:00, OKAY?
UH, SHALL I BRING ANYTHING? SOMETHING FOR YOUR MOTHER?
UH, YEAH.
A WOODEN STAKE AND A CRUCIFIX. (CHUCKLES) BYE.
ROSE LOVES TO FOLD NAPKINS.
ONE OF HER IDIOSYNCRASIES.
OH.
YOU'LL HAVE TO FORGIVE ME.
I CAME HOME LATE FROM WORK AND JUST THREW THIS ON. GOD KNOWS HOW I LOOK.
(SIGHS) OH.
I HOPE YOU LIKE IT. (GASPS)
MY GOD, ROSE, IT'S ART. MOM, COULD YOU MOVE THE FLOWERS, PLEASE.
OH, NO, IT'S NOT ART.
NO, NO, AN ARTIST ISN'T JUST SOMEBODY WHO PAINTS OR SCULPTS.
IT'S SOMEBODY WHO SETS THE TABLE A CERTAIN WAY,
PREPARES THE MEAL OR TEACHES A CERTAIN WAY.
YOU'RE AN ARTIST. ISN'T SHE? THANK YOU.
MMM.
WHY DIDN'T YOU USE THE LIMOGES, DEAR? WE HAVE COMPANY.
MAY I SERVE YOU? I...THOUGHT... THESE WERE PRETTY.
ROSE! MY HANDS ARE CLEAN.
WE GO TO ALL THIS TROUBLE, AND ROSE AND I DON'T EAT VERY MUCH.
REALLY? MMM.
OH. WHENEVER I'VE BEEN WITH ROSE I'VE NOTICED SHE'S HAD A VERY HEALTHY APPETITE.
(GIGGLES) TO SAY THE LEAST.
I CAN'T STAND WOMEN WHO EAT TWO BITES AND SAY THEY'RE FULL. THANK GOD.
OH. UM...
ROSE, DO YOU REALLY NEED EXTRA SALT, DEAR?
YOU KNOW HOW MUCH WATER A WOMAN RETAINS WITH TOO MUCH SALT.
CAN I HAVE SOME? THERE YOU GO.
I'D LOVE POTATOES, TOO. MM-MMM. YOU DON'T NEED POTATOES.
(GREGORY) I'VE NEVER SEEN A TEACHER TEACH WITH SUCH PASSION.
HAVE YOU EVER SAT IN ON ONE OF YOUR DAUGHTER'S CLASSES?
MY MOTHER SIT IN ON ONE OF MY CLASSES?
ROSE! WHAT?
OH, THAT'S-- TH-THAT'S THE BEST PART.
MMM. (ROSE GIGGLES)
MMM! MMM.
ROSE TELLS ME YOU'VE NEVER BEEN MARRIED.
MOM! PL--
YEAH, TH-TH-THAT'S ALL RIGHT, ROSE.
THAT'S CORRECT, UH, MRS. MORGAN.
I-I HAVEN'T, UH--
I GUESS IT'S THE OLD SAYING THAT, UH, I JUST HAVEN'T FOUND THE RIGHT GIRL.
I HAVE HAD SEVERAL RELATIONSHIPS THAT HAVEN'T WORKED OUT,
BUT THAT'S ALL GONNA CHANGE.
OH, REALLY? WHY?
WELL, AS I, UH, AS I'VE TOLD ROSE, I HAVE A THEORY ABOUT LOVE...
AND, UH, SEX.
DOES ANYBODY WANT COFFEE?
OH, I-I'D LOVE SOME.
WHAT THEORY?
UH, SEX. UH, REGULAR OR DECAF?
REGULAR.
UHH-- I COULD MAKE CAPPUCCINOS.
CAPPUCCINOS. WOULD YOU LIKE CAPPUCCINOS? HOW ABOUT THAT, HUH?
GREG, WHY DON'T YOU COME TO THE KITCHEN AND HELP ME.
ROSE, GO PUT THE COFFEE ON.
MOTHER, I MADE DINNER. WHY DON'T YOU PUT THE COFFEE ON?
I RAISED TWO DAUGHTERS; I BURIED A HUSBAND; I'VE MADE MY COFFEE.
(MOUTHS WORDS)
WELL, ALONE AT LAST.
I'VE HEARD A LOT ABOUT YOU.
AND I'VE HEARD A LOT ABOUT YOU.
OH?
YOU'VE BEEN SEEING A LOT OF MY DAUGHTER THESE LAST FEW MONTHS.
I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND MY ASKING, BUT...
I'D LIKE TO KNOW WHAT YOUR INTENTIONS ARE.
MY INTENTIONS?
HMM. WELL...
WHAT A LOVELY MEAL. GOSH, YOU'RE A GOOD COOK.
OH, THANK YOU. I DIDN'T OVERSELL MYSELF.
NO, NO, ON THE CONTRARY.
BUT YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO GO TO ALL THAT TROUBLE.
OF COURSE I HAD TO.
IT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY, AND, YOU KNOW, WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR BUT TO...
WELL-- GIVE EACH OTHER PRESENTS AND STUFF AND, UM...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
ROSE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
OPEN IT, OPEN IT, OPEN IT.
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THIS. I REALLY HOPE YOU LIKE IT.
MMM. WHAT ARE THESE, DICE?
THEY ONCE WERE DICE, BUT NOW THEY ARE CUFF LINKS WITH...
PRIME NUMBERS! OHHH! TWO, THREE, FIVE. NO NINE.
THEY ARE SO BEAUTIFUL. HOW DID YOU DO THAT?
HAD 'EM MADE... ESPECIALLY FOR YOU. OHH.
I HOPE THEY'RE OKAY. THEY WERE DONE VERY FAST. THANK YOU.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
YEAH.
YEAH, WELL...
UH, ROSE, UH-- UH-HUH?
I'VE BEEN MEANING TO ASK YOU SOMETHING, AND I CAN ONLY SAY THIS ONCE.
WHAT?
UH, S-S-SIT DOWN.
I-I THINK WE HAVE A LOT IN COMMON, AND--
ALTHOUGH I'M AWARE CERTAIN VARIABLES ARE AND FOREVER WILL BE UNKNOWN,
AS IS THE CASE WITH MOST COMPLEX EQUATIONS WHERE YOU HAVE TWO COMPLETELY--
GREG, TALK TO ME.
I'M NOT SAYING THIS RIGHT, AM I? UM...
WHAT?
WELL, THIS, THIS FEELING YOU HAVE FOR ALEX--
I-I-IT WON'T BE THE SAME WITH ME.
YOU WON'T HAVE THAT CONSTANT ACHE IN THE PIT OF YOUR STOMACH,
BECAUSE,
WELL, WE'RE NOT IN LOVE.
MMM. I-I THINK WE DO SHARE
A GENUINE AFFECTION FOR EACH OTHER.
W-WE SHARE A PASSION FOR KNOWLEDGE RATHER THAN A PHYSICAL PASSION.
ALTHOUGH IF, UM, SEX IS, UH, SOMETHING THAT INTERESTS YOU,
UH, I'M SURE I COULD PROVIDE THAT ON OCCASION,
UH, GIVEN ENOUGH WARNING.
UH-- (LAUGHS) WH-WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
WE WERE BOTH IN LOVE, WE WERE BOTH MISERABLE AND WE'RE BOTH ALONE.
WHICH IS A WASTE, REALLY, BECAUSE AS PEOPLE, WE'RE QUITE VALUABLE.
YEAH?
ROSE.
WHEN I LOOK AT YOU...
I-I SEE A--A WOMAN UNLIKE ANY I'VE EVER KNOWN BEFORE.
YOUR MIND, YOUR HUMOR, YOUR PASSION FOR IDEAS.
I-I'M VERY FOND OF YOU.
I-I-I FEEL, IN A STRANGE WAY--
WHEN I'M WITH YOU, I FEEL AS IF I'M--
WELL, AS IF I'M HOME.
SO, I-I THINK WE SHOULD GET MARRIED.
HUH? PEOPLE MARRY FOR SEXUAL PASSION WHICH FADES, OR BEAUTY WHICH FADES.
WHY ARE MY REASONS ANY MORE INSANE THAN THOSE?
ARE YOU IN SHOCK, OR JUST APPALLED?
BLINK IF YOU CAN HEAR ME.
(CHUCKLES, LAUGHS) WH-WHAT? WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?
I JUST--I-I'M SORRY. WHAT CAME--
THIS SOUNDS SILLY, BUT...
I WAS JUST THINKING...
H-HOW COULD I MARRY SOMEONE...
THAT I'VE NEVER EVEN...
YOU KNOW.
OH.
KISSED.
YOU KNOW, BEFORE YOU ANSWER, UH,
THERE IS ONE OTHER THING I HAVE TO TELL YOU.
I PROMISED YOUR SISTER I WOULDN'T,
BUT I CAN'T ENTER INTO THIS WITHOUT YOU KNOWING.
YOU LOVE CLAIRE, TOO? NO. NO.
YOU'VE JUST SLEPT WITH HER. OH, GOD. NO!
YOU WANNA SLEEP WITH HER. I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOUR SISTER.
OHH! NO, IT'S ABOUT HOW I FOUND YOU.
YOU SEE, I WROTE THIS AD--
AN-AN AD? YES.
I THINK THAT'S KINDA GREAT.
OH, YOU DO? UH-HUH.
OH, WHAT A RELIEF. I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA BE UPSET.
WHY? YOU PICKED ME.
(LAUGHING) WELL, ACTUALLY, I FOUND YOU THROUGH THIS AD.
IT WAS THIS CHARMING WOMAN ON TV. MM-HMM?
UH, FELICIA, I BELIEVE HER NAME WAS.
I THINK SHE WAS ALSO AN EDUCATOR OF SORTS.
HMM.
WELL, WELL, WELL.
AHHH!
(LAUGHS) (HANNAH) SO?
GREGORY JUST PROPOSED TO ME.
DO YOU NEED A VALIUM?
I KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE MUCH RESPECT FOR MY OPINION,
BUT, UH, I DON'T TRUST HIM.
I MEAN, WHERE'S THE ATTRACTION?
YOU MEAN, WHY IS HE ATTRACTED TO ME?
HE'S NOT, MOTHER. DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER?
HE DOESN'T WANT SEX. HE WANTS TO BE COMPANIONS.
"COMPANIONS"?
(SIGHS)
WHAT SANE PERSON WOULD AGREE TO THAT KIND OF MARRIAGE?
I NEVER HEARD OF ANYTHING SO RIDICULOUS. IT'S NOT NATURAL.
WHAT'S NATURAL, CLAIRE AND ALEX?
HE WANTS ME. MAYBE NOT THE SAME WAY YOU AND CLAIRE WERE WANTED, BUT WANTED.
SURE, HE WANTS YOU-- TO COOK AND CLEAN FOR HIM.
THEN IT WON'T BE MUCH DIFFERENT THAN LIVING HERE.
I HAPPEN TO KNOW HE FOUND YOU THROUGH AN AD. YOUR SISTER TOLD ME.
I ALREADY KNOW, MOM. SORRY.
(SIGHS) LOOK,
I KNOW THIS ISN'T YOUR AVERAGE PROPOSAL, BUT...
LET'S FACE IT. YOU KNOW, THEY'RE NOT STANDING IN LINE FOR ME.
BESIDES, WE-- WE HAVE A LOT IN COMMON. WE REALLY LIKE EACH OTHER.
THEN SAY "YES." WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?
I CAN LIVE ALONE, I CAN MANAGE.
IF YOU THINK GETTING MARRIED UNDER THESE CONDITIONS IS NORMAL, THEN GO AHEAD.
WHY DO YOU DO THAT?
WHY DO YOU MAKE IT SOUND SO...
PATHETIC?
YOU HAD A LIFE, A HUSBAND WHO ADORED YOU.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT ME TO HAVE JUST A LITTLE BIT OF THAT?
I'M GETTING OLDER, TOO, MOM.
WHY CAN'T YOU BE HAPPY FOR ME?
BUT YOU CAN'T, CAN YOU?
MM-MMM.
BECAUSE YOU'RE SCARED TO DEATH OF BEING ALONE...
AND YOU'RE JEALOUS.
JEALOUS?
JEALOUS BECAUSE A MAN WANTS ME.
A GOOD-LOOKING MAN WANTS ME.
HOW RIDICULOUS.
WELL, YOU KNOW SOMETHING, MOM?
A MAN DOES.
(JUSTICE) TODAY GREGORY THOMAS LARKIN AND ROSE RACHEL MORGAN
HAVE PLACED RINGS ON EACH OTHER'S FINGERS AND HAVE AGREED
TO SHARE THEIR LIVES AND HOPES AND RECOGNIZE EACH OTHER AS EQUALS.
THEY SHALL SEEK THROUGH KINDNESS AND UNDERSTANDING
TO ACHIEVE A LIFE TOGETHER AS THEY HAVE ENVISIONED.
WE ARE GATHERED HERE TO PARTICIPATE AND WITNESS
THIS SPECIAL CEREMONY OF MARRIAGE,
WHICH IS A MEANS OF ESTABLISHING AND CONTINUING A HOME.
IN AS MUCH AS YOU HAVE CONSENTED TOGETHER
TO LIVE IN WEDLOCK AND HAVE EXCHANGED VOWS BEFORE WITNESSES,
BY THE AUTHORITY VESTED IN ME
AND IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE LAWS OF THE STATE OF NEW YORK,
I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU HUSBAND AND WIFE.
HERE'S YOUR CERTIFICATE, AND GOOD LUCK.
THANK YOU, YOUR HONOR.
ROSE!
CONGRATULATIONS! SHE'S A GREAT--
YES, SHE IS. THANKS. (DORIS) I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU.
I'VE HEARD SO MUCH-- LIKEWISE ABOUT YOU. YOU'RE PRETTY--
WE ALL OUGHT TO-- ABSOLUTELY. THAT'D BE WONDERFUL.
EXCUSE ME. GOTTA MAKE A PHONE CALL. CONGRATULATIONS.
IF I'D KNOWN YOU WERE THIS GOOD-LOOKING, I'D HAVE ANSWERED THE AD FOR MYSELF.
(DORIS) CONGRATULATIONS. SHE'S THE BEST PERSON I KNOW. (ROSE) WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
IF I WERE A MAN, I'D BE ALL OVER HER.
OH, GOOD LUCK...
AND, UH, CONGRATULATIONS.
I'M SURE YOU'LL BOTH BE VERY, UH, FASCINATING TO WATCH.
(JUSTICE) MARRIAGE IS A SUPREME SHARING OF EXPERIENCE--
(GREGORY) ROSE? YEAH?
ISN'T IT AMAZING HOW MANY BOOKS YOU ACCUMULATE OVER THE YEARS?
YEAH, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
AND THE DUST!
GOD, THIS PLACE NEEDS A GOOD CLEANING.
WE'LL TAKE CARE OF THAT.
MADE SOME ROOM ON THE SHELVES FOR YOUR BOOKS.
OH. GOOD. NEED ANY HELP?
NO. EVERYTHING'S PRETTY MUCH, UH, PUT IN ITS PLACE.
OH.
SO, WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO?
GO TO BED.
TO SLEEP, I MEAN. IN ORDER TO SLEEP.
YOU GO TO THE BED FOR SLEEPING.
AH.
(CHUCKLES)
UNLESS YOU'D RATHER DO SOMETHING ELSE. I'M SORRY, WHAT?
NO. GO--GO AHEAD.
I WASN'T GOING TO SAY ANYTHING.
ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
SO DO YOU WANT TO USE THE BATHROOM FIRST?
NO. I CAN WAIT.
NO, NO. Y-YOU GO.
A-A-ARE YOU SURE?
NO. YOU GO, PLEASE. PLEASE.
OKAY.
(CHUCKLES)
OH, GOD.
(DOOR OPENS)
YOUR TURN.
(WATER RUNNING)
(WATER STOPS)
SHIT.
TIRED?
NOT REALLY.
(CHUCKLES) ME, NEITHER.
THESE ARE NICE.
THANKS.
(SIGHS) YOU WANT TO WATCH SOME TV?
OH, SURE. I HAVE SOME TAPES. UH, OLD MOVIES.
OH. GREAT.
OH, GOOD.
I BROUGHT, UH... LET'S SEE.
IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT,
UH, LAWRENCE OF ARABIA, NOW, VOYAGER.
HOW ABOUT LAWRENCE OF ARABIA? IT'S NICE AND LONG.
HMM.
OKAY.
LAWRENCE OF ARABIA IT IS.
JUST...STICK IT IN.
RIGHT. (INSERTING CASSETTE)
(LAWRENCE OF ARABIA THEME PLAYING)
IS IT OVER?
YEAH. YEAH. GO TO SLEEP.
(GROANS)
(SIGHS)
(CHUCKLES)
(MAN) ARE YOU JUST LOOKING OR BUYING?
MMM, IT ALL DEPENDS. I'M NOT SURE YET.
SO, HOW ABOUT YOU? SEEMS TO BE GOING WELL.
BETTER THAN THAT.
HAVE YOU TWO, UH--
NO, AND IT HASN'T MADE A BIT OF DIFFERENCE.
I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT, BUT IF IT WORKS, I GIVE YOU BOTH A LOT OF CREDIT.
CREDIT? CREDIT FOR WHAT?
I WAS JUST TELLING HENRY HOW SEX ISN'T AN ISSUE FOR US.
MMM. THAT'S TRUE.
I MEAN, IT'S MUCH LESS COMPLICATED THIS WAY.
NOT TO MENTION SANITARY. (CHUCKLES)
COME HERE. I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
(LAUGHS) THAT'S PERFECT.
(BABY COOING)
(WOMAN CHUCKLES)
YES. YES!
IT FEELS SO GOOD TO BE WRITING AGAIN.
I'M HAVING SO MANY IDEAS FOR THE NEW BOOK. YEAH?
I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW EASILY IT'S COMING. I HAVE OUTLINES FOR 3 CHAPTERS ALREADY.
THAT'S GREAT.
WHAT A TERRIFIC IDEA THIS WAS OF YOURS,
ROSE, TO COME HERE TO THE PARK.
I-I'VE NEVER WRITTEN IN THE PARK. THIS IS WONDERFUL.
I'M GLAD. I'LL HAVE ANOTHER ONE OF THESE.
IS THAT BARRY?
I THINK IT IS.
YOU'RE SO PRETTY.
HEY. BARRY?
(GIGGLING) BARRY? HI!
IT'S ROSE. HI. (BARRY) ROSE. YEAH.
HOW ARE YOU? THIS IS GLORIA. NICE TO SEE YOU.
HELLO. OH, THIS IS MY HUSBAND, GREGORY LARKIN.
HELLO. HI, GREGORY. YES, THIS IS GLORIA.
I HEARD YOU GOT MARRIED. CONGRATULATIONS.
THANK YOU. UH, GOSH, YOU LOOK GOOD, BARRY.
WELL, BEING ENGAGED AGREES WITH ME.
ENGAGED? OH! CONGRATULATIONS.
I FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE WHO DIDN'T CANCEL ON ME.
WILL YOU EXCUSE ME, PLEASE? NICE TO MEET YOU.
NICE TO MEET YOU, TOO.
MMM.
(GIGGLING)
I'M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU...BOTH.
THANK YOU. THANK YOU, ROSE.
AND TAKE CARE.
YEAH, YOU, TOO.
YEAH.
(SIGHS)
EVERYTHING OKAY?
YEAH. EVERYTHING'S OKAY.
WHAT?
MMM. THE JEANS, THE T-SHIRT.
IT'S-IT'S A GREAT LOOK ON YOU. HMM, YEAH?
YOU SHOULD WEAR IT TO CLASS SOMETIME.
MMM.
DO YOU MIND? UM, I'D LOVE TO GET THE SCORE.
NO, NO. UM, YOU GO AHEAD. I'M GONNA READ THE PAPER.
(SPORTSCASTER ON TV)
OH, I DIDN'T TELL YOU.
I RECEIVED A FEW INVITATIONS
FROM SOME EUROPEAN UNIVERSITIES TO LECTURE ON MY BOOK.
OH, THAT'S NICE.
I TOLD THEM, OF COURSE, THAT, UH,
I WANTED TO CHECK WITH YOU FIRST.
OH. SOUNDS GREAT. FOR HOW LONG?
UH, 3 MONTHS STARTING IN JUNE, AFTER THE TERM ENDS.
3 MONTHS? MM-HMM.
(SIGHS) ALL RIGHT, GUYS.
COME ON. LET'S GET A RALLY GOING HERE. COME ON, COME ON.
I NEVER COULD UNDERSTAND PEOPLE'S FASCINATION WITH BASEBALL.
I DON'T SEE THE POINT OF PLAYING A GAME WHERE YOU WIND UP
AT THE SAME PLACE YOU STARTED.
WELL, ACTUALLY, THIS SHOULD INTEREST YOU
BECAUSE IT'S ABOUT STATS AND AVERAGES.
EXPLAIN THAT TO ME.
SEE THAT? EVERY TIME A PLAYER COMES UP, THEY FLASH THAT 3-DIGIT NUMBER.
THAT IS
HOW MANY TIMES HE HITS THE BALL IN RATIO TO HOW MANY TIMES HE COMES UP TO BAT.
NOW, WHICH NUMBER IS IT?
AN EQUATION SUCH AS THE SECOND DERIVATIVE OF THE FUNCTION F
WITH RESPECT TO THE VARIABLE X EQUALS A CONSTANT.
(YAWNS)
UH, ANYBODY SEE THE GAME YESTERDAY?
THAT MARRAKESH-- WHAT A BUM, HUH?
UH, LET ME TRY PUTTING THIS ANOTHER WAY.
UM, WHEN MEASURING TRAJECTORIES,
UH, IF A BATTER HITS A BALL, HOW CAN WE DETERMINE HOW FAR THAT BALL WILL GO?
WHAT ARE THE VARIABLES NEEDED TO HIT A HOME RUN? (WHISPERING)
PRETENDING FOR A MOMENT THAT THE BUM COULD HIT A HOME RUN.
(ALL LAUGH)
THE...VELOCITY WITH WHICH THE BALL LEAVES THE BAT?
THE VELOCITY. CORRECT.
(WOMAN) I HAVE A QUESTION. MM-HMM?
DOES A RISING FASTBALL REALLY RISE?
UH...I DON'T KNOW. I'LL HAVE TO ASK MY WIFE.
I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT.
S-SUDDENLY THE ROOM WAS FILLED WITH THIS, UH, UH, TANGIBLE ENERGY.
MM-HMM... WE WERE ACTUALLY EXCHANGING IDEAS.
WE WERE--WE WERE, UH, C-CONNECTED SOMEHOW.
OH, THEY PARTICIPATED, THEY QUESTIONED. MM-HMM...
THEY STAYED!
ROSE, I CANNOT THANK YOU ENOUGH.
I WAS A BETTER TEACHER TODAY THAN I'VE EVER BEEN BECAUSE OF YOU.
WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
OH. OH.
FRESH PEPPER?
NO, SHE DOESN'T CARE FOR PEPPER,
BUT I'LL HAVE SOME. THANKS.
OH, AND COULD YOU BRING HER A LITTLE SIDE DISH OF EXTRA DRESSING?
SHE LIKES A LITTLE EXTRA. THANK YOU.
CERTAINLY. RIGHT AWAY.
SO, I REALLY FEEL THAT I SHOULD RETURN THE FAVOR.
IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO FOR YOU?
ANYTHING THAT YOU-- YOU WANT FROM ME?
(NERVOUS CHUCKLE) I'LL HAVE TO THINK ABOUT THAT.
MA'AM? OKAY.
JUST GLOP IT ON.
THANK YOU.
ENJOY YOUR DINNER.
YOU'RE NOT EATING.
NO. I'M WATCHING YOUR RITUAL.
MY WHAT? YOUR RITUAL.
I'VE JUST ABOUT GOT YOUR SEQUENCE DOWN, I THINK.
MY SEQUENCE?
YES. YOU ALWAYS START OUT
BY ROTATING THE PLATE COUNTER-CLOCKWISE,
CUT ON THE DIAGONAL.
YOU REMOVE THE, UH, UNWANTED ELEMENTS...
(LAUGHS)
AND, UH, AND NOW, I BELIEVE, COMES MY FAVORITE PART.
(LAUGHING) WHAT?
THE LOADING OF THE FORK. I FIND IT JUST FASCINATING
THE PERCENTAGES THAT YOU USE OF THE DIFFERENT VEGETABLES
TO CREATE THAT ONE HARMONIOUSLY BALANCED,
PERFECT BITE.
MMM.
YOU HAVE A LITTLE...
N-N-NO, I-I'LL-- OOH, DON'T SMEAR IT.
UH, THAT MIGHT STAIN.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO PUT A LITTLE SOAP ON THAT.
I'LL, UM... BE RIGHT BACK.
MMM.
I WANT TO ASK YOU SOMETHING, JUST TO REASSURE MYSELF.
(ROSE) COME ON. DON'T STOP.
(GREGORY) WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M A MACHINE?
IT IS TRUE FOR YOU, ISN'T IT?
THIS OVERWHELMING FEELING WE HAVE FOR EACH OTHER--
IT'S AS TRUE FOR YOU AS IT IS FOR ME, ISN'T IT?
(ROSE) COME ON, YOU'RE DOING GREAT. KEEP IT UP.
OKAY. READY?
(MUSIC SWELLS DRAMATICALLY)
LISTEN TO THAT MUSIC. IT'S SO MANIPULATIVE.
DOESN'T THAT JUST INFURIATE YOU?
YEAH, I'M LIVID.
(VOLUME LOWERS)
ROSE, I-I CAME BY YOUR OFFICE TODAY TO TAKE YOU OUT TO LUNCH,
AND YOU WEREN'T THERE.
WERE YOU AT A STAFF MEETING OR SOMETHING?
NO, I HAD LUNCH WITH HENRY.
(GRUNTS) OH. UHHH...
ROSE, H-HE'S A FRIEND OF MINE, BUT YOU HAVE TO WATCH OUT FOR HIM.
(LAUGHS) BELIEVE ME, I'M NOT HIS TYPE.
NO, NO, NO, I-I-I'M SERIOUS.
HE HAS TROUBLE CONTROLLING HIMSELF. OHH!
WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?
DID YOU PULL SOMETHING? I THINK SO.
WHERE? OHH! RIGHT HERE.
RIGHT HERE?
YEAH...OHH. A LITTLE LOWER.
WHERE? LOWER.
CLOSER TO THE SPINE. OH, THERE. YEAH, UH-HUH.
OH, YEAH.
OKAY, JUST LEAN BACK INTO IT.
(GROANS) YEAH. YEAH. THAT'S GOOD.
YOU KNOW, I-I WAS THINKING, UH,
MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO MEET ME IN EUROPE AFTER YOUR SUMMER CLASSES END.
MMM. WE NEVER HAD ANY KIND OF HONEYMOON VACATION THING.
THAT'S RIGHT. I WOULD-- GOSH, I WOULD JUST LOVE THAT.
WOULD YOU?
MMM.
(GROANS) WHAT'S THE MATTER? AM I PRESSING TOO HARD?
NO, NO, NO, IT'S JUST THAT I'M ALL SWEATY AND, UH...
I HAVE TO FLOSS.
(WOMAN ON TV) I REALLY MUST GO HOME. (GROANS)
OOH.
WHEN YOU GOTTA FLOSS, YOU GOTTA FLOSS.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC CONTINUES)
(SNICKERS)
(ROSE) CLAIRE, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO ASK FOR IT.
I MEAN, WE'RE SO POLITE TO EACH OTHER
SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE WE'RE ROOMMATES AT A CHARM SCHOOL.
ROSE, WAIT, HOLD ON A SEC. I GOTTA PUT YOU ON THE SPEAKER.
I AM SO FRUSTRATED, CLAIRE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
RELAX. GIVE HIM A LOOK THAT LETS HIM KNOW YOU WANT SEX.
I TRIED THAT ONCE. HE THOUGHT I HAD SOMETHING IN MY EYE.
I'M TALKING ABOUT A LOOK THAT GENERATES SOME HEAT.
(DOORBELL RINGS) SOMETIMES I SWEAR HE FEELS SOMETHING, TOO. I'M JUST NOT SURE.
MEN AREN'T THAT BRIGHT, ROSE.
IT'S EASY. BE SUBTLE, MYSTERIOUS, SEDUCTIVE.
SUBTLE, MYSTERIOUS, SEDUCTIVE. WHY DON'T MEN COME WITH INSTRUCTIONS?
YOU'RE GOING TO BE FINE. I GOTTA GO. I GOTTA GO. BYE. BYE.
(SIGHS)
UM, MORE COFFEE?
OOH, YEAH. THANKS.
WELL, MY TICKETS JUST ARRIVED.
MY FIRST LECTURE IS IN PARIS ON THE 24th. I LEAVE SATURDAY.
GREAT. DO YOU WANT AN ENGLISH MUFFIN OR ANYTHING?
NO. NO, THANKS.
ALL RIGHT. WELL, I HAVE TO GO. I HAVE AN EARLY CLASS.
ALL RIGHT. HAVE A NICE DAY.
YEAH, WELL--YEAH. ALL RIGHT.
OH, UH, BY THE WAY--
MMM?
WOULD TELLING YOU NOW THAT I'D LIKE SEX TONIGHT
BE ENOUGH OF A WARNING?
OR SH-SH-SHOULD WE WAIT TILL YOU COME BACK FROM EUROPE?
YEAH. RIGHT? THAT'S BETTER.
NO, NO, NO. TH-TH-TH-TH-THAT'S, UH-- U-U-UH, THAT'S FINE.
OH.
ALL RIGHT. (SIGHS)
WELL, I...GUESS I'LL... SEE YOU TONIGHT. (LAUGHS)
HAVE A NICE DAY.
(DOOR CLOSES)
(WHIMPERS)
(HENRY) HAVE YOU EVER TRIED MAKING LOVE?
WELL, THAT'S JUST IT. OUR RELATIONSHIP WAS NEVER BASED ON THAT.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND. THINGS WERE GOING SO WELL!
HAVING SEX NOW WILL RUIN EVERYTHING.
YOU'RE A VERY SICK MAN. YOU KNOW THAT?
MMM.
(ANNOUNCER) JOHNSON'S BEEN AROUND BOTH LEAGUES,
BUT SEEMS TO HAVE FOUND A HOME HERE IN THE BRONX.
HE'S LEADING THE AMERICAN LEAGUE WITH A 2.34 E.R.A. AND 24 STRIKEOUTS.
AND STRIKE THREE. THAT MAKES STRIKEOUT NUMBER 25 FOR JOHNSON
IN THIS YOUNG SEASON.
HAVE THE GAME ON FOR YA.
OH. GREAT.
(ANNOUNCER) JOHNSON TAKES THE SIGN.
SOME, UH, WINE?
OH, I DON'T KNOW. BEFORE BED, I'LL WAKE UP WITH A HEADACHE.
ONE GLASS. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
(VOICE CRACKS) ONE GLASS. ONE GLASS.
HE GOT AHOLD OF THAT PITCH, BUT SEEMED TO GET A LITTLE TOO FAR OUT FRONT.
SAME, UH, SCORE?
MM-HMM.
MMM.
THIS IS GOOD. IT'S SWEET.
I-I-I NORMALLY DON'T LIKE, UH, SWEET,
BUT, U-UH, THIS IS GOOD.
I'M GLAD YOU LIKE IT.
DO YOU, UM--
UM, I-I--
WOULD YOU MIND TERRIBLY IF WE MUTED THE TV?
(ANNOUNCER) HE TAKES THE SIGN. OH. OKAY.
(REMOTE BUTTON CLICKS)
(STEREO PLAYING SOFT JAZZ)
W-W-W-W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
UM, NOTHING...
MUCH.
ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
(SIGHS)
WOULD IT BE ALL RIGHT IF I SAT DOWN?
OHH. IS IT ALL RIGHT?
PLEASE.
HMM.
(CLEARS THROAT)
(SIGHS) WHEW.
THAT WINE, IT, UH, MADE ME WARM.
I CAN FIX THAT. IT'S OKAY.
IT'S ALL RIGHT. IT'S ALL RIGHT. (CLEARS THROAT)
(SIGHS) GOOD GAME?
I CAN'T HEAR. OH.
(BOTH LAUGH)
MMM.
YOU KNOW, ROSE, I--
OWW! OHH! AAAH! OHH! OOH!
NOPE, THAT'S ALL RIGHT. THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
DID I HURT YOU?
NO, YOU DIDN'T HURT ME.
NO. YOU MISSED, AND I DIDN'T SPILL A DROP.
(LAUGHING)
I GUESS--
THAT'S FUNNY?
I GUESS THAT'S KINDA FUNNY.
(CONTINUES GIGGLING)
DO YOU THINK WE COULD... HMM?
TURN THE TV OFF?
OH. ALL RIGHT.
(SIGHS)
THAT'S BETTER.
(BOTH LAUGHING) WE HAVE TO RELAX.
I...I AGREE.
SO, UM, UH,
UH, H-HOW-- HOW ARE CLASSES?
THEY'RE GOING WELL.
A-A-AND YOUR BOOK?
HOW'S THAT-- HOW'S THAT-- THE OUTLINE IS ACTUALLY, UH--
IT'S, UH-- WHAT? IS WHAT?
WELL, IT'S-- IT'S COMING ALONG.
(GASPS) IT'S ALMOST THERE.
I-I-IT'S NOT AT ALL WHAT I EXPECTED. IT'S, UH--
IT'S HARDER THAN I THOUGHT. IS IT?
BUT I'LL, UH-- YOU'LL WHAT?
I'LL, UH--MMM. I-I-I'M SURE I'LL, UH--
WHAT ARE YOU SURE OF? I'M SURE I'LL, UH, I'LL GET THERE.
I WANT YOU TO GET THERE.
UM...OHH.
YEAH? MMM.
MMM. OHH.
WHAT DID YOU SAY? (MOANS)
ROSE.
TALK TO ME.
(BOTH MOANING)
MMM. MMM.
OH, GOD. OH, ROSE.
OH, YES-- OH, NO. (ROSE) OH, YES.
OH, GOD. PLEASE.
OH, ROSE. YES. OH, GOD, YES.
NO, NO, NO. YES, YES, YES.
NO, NO! YES.
UH, I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS. WHAT?
I'M SORRY, ROSE. I'M SORRY. OHH.
I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. (WHIMPERS, GROANS)
(DOOR CLOSES) OHH.
(WATER RUNNING)
OHH.
(SIGHS)
(MOANING)
I, UH, HAVE TO SAY, ROSE,
I'M A LITTLE-- A LITTLE CONFUSED, (TURNS STEREO OFF)
A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED.
EVERYTHING WAS GOING SO WELL.
AT LEAST I THOUGHT SO. DIDN'T YOU?
WELL, IS THAT THE TRUTH, OR IS THAT SOME KIND OF FEMALE MANIPULATION?
I WISH YOU WOULD JUST TELL ME THE TRUTH.
YOU KNEW THE ARRANGEMENT. YOU KNEW HOW I FELT.
DID YOU THINK THAT WOULD CHANGE?
WHY?
(SNICKERS)
I-I HAD HOPED THAT, EVEN THOUGH I INITIALLY MADE THE OFFER,
BY NOW YOU WOULD HAVE SEEN THAT THERE IS NO NEED FOR IT.
I'D HOPED WE HAD GOTTEN BEYOND IT.
DID YOU HONESTLY THINK THIS WAS THE NEXT STEP?
Y-YOU-- ROSE, YOU HAVE IT ALL BACKWARDS.
WHAT WE HAVE USUALLY COMES AFTER ALL THIS NONSENSE IS OVER.
MOST PEOPLE NEVER GET TO WHERE WE ARE IN REGARDS TO SHARING AND RESPECT.
INSTEAD THEY TRY TO KEEP THE SEX GOING,
AND WHEN THAT FADES, THEN THEY'RE ON TO SOMEONE NEW.
THAT'S WHY OUR RELATIONSHIP WORKS, BECAUSE IT WAS NEVER PHYSICAL.
I TOOK EVERY PRECAUTION TO MAKE SURE THERE WAS NO PHYSICAL ATTRACTION.
ROSE, I--
ROSE, I'M SORRY.
ROSE?
IT-- IT'S JUST THAT I--
I'VE NEVER HAD THIS WITH A WOMAN BEFORE,
THE WAY I CAN TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING AND SHARE EVERYTHING WITH YOU.
UH, ARE--ARE YOU--
A-ARE YOU NOT SATISFIED WITH ME?
(SOBS)
ROSE?
MAYBE THIS IS SOMETHING THAT HAD TO COME UP,
SOMETHING THAT WE HAD TO STRUGGLE THROUGH TOGETHER.
MAYBE-- MAYBE THIS LECTURE TOUR IS COMING AT A GOOD TIME.
MAYBE WE COULD USE SOME DISTANCE FROM EACH OTHER FOR A WHILE.
(CONTINUES SOBBING) DON'T YOU THINK?
I THOUGHT WE WERE GOOD FRIENDS.
(SOBBING CONTINUES) TALK TO ME, ROSE.
ROSE, COME ON, LET ME IN.
I-I-I'M SORRY, R--
ROSE.
(SOBBING CONTINUES)
(DOOR RATTLING) COME ON, OPEN THE DOOR.
(SIGHS)
WILL YOU OPEN THE DOOR, PLEASE?
COME ON, ROSE.
(DOOR UNLOCKS)
(KEYS JINGLING)
(SIGHS)
(HANNAH) WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
JUST...CAME TO SLEEP IN MY OWN BED. IS THAT OKAY?
WHAT HAPPENED? IS IT GREGORY?
(SIGHS) I DON'T WANT TO SAY "I TOLD YOU SO," BUT...
MOM?
WHAT?
WHEN I WAS A BABY...
DID YOU THINK I WAS PRETTY?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN, BUT ALL BABIES ARE PRETTY.
NO.
NO, I MEAN ME.
ME.
YOU MUST'VE THOUGHT SOMETHING ABOUT HOW I LOOKED.
WELL, WHAT'S PRETTY ANYWAY?
WHAT GOOD DID IT DO YOUR SISTER?
MMM.
(SIGHS) DO YOU REMEMBER...
WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL...
YOU USED TO TELL ME TO, UM,
PUSH MY NOSE UP WITH MY INDEX FINGER...
SO IT WOULDN'T DROOP.
I DID NOT. ARE YOU DRUNK?
NO. THAT'S WHAT YOU TOLD ME.
IT'S FUNNY, TOO, BECAUSE...
I NEVER WOULD'VE THOUGHT I--I WASN'T PRETTY...
IF IT WEREN'T FOR THOSE THINGS YOU SAID.
IF YOU'VE COME HOME TO SAY MORE CRUEL THINGS TO ME, I'M GOING TO BED.
MOM?
WHAT?
HOW DID IT FEEL?
HOW DID WHAT FEEL?
BEING BEAUTIFUL.
OH, STOP IT.
NO, I MEAN IT.
HOW DID IT FEEL...
HAVING PEOPLE LOOK AT YOU WITH...
SUCH ADMIRATION...
LOOKING AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR...
WITH...
SUCH APPRECIATION?
HOW DID THAT FEEL?
IT WAS WONDERFUL.
(SIGHS)
YEAH.
I'LL BET.
(JET ENGINE DRONING)
(PHONE RINGS, RECEIVER PICKS UP)
(HANNAH) HELLO.
HI, HANNAH. THIS IS, UH, GREGORY. IS ROSE THERE?
NO. SHE'S GONE OUT. CAN I TAKE A MESSAGE?
NO, HANNAH, THE POINT IS, I'VE BEEN GIVING YOU MESSAGES, AND SHE HASN'T CALLED BACK.
I-I-I WANT TO SAY GOOD-BYE TO MY WIFE.
I'LL TELL HER.
(P.A.) UNITED AIRLINES FLIGHT 622 FOR PARIS (RECEIVER HANGS UP)
NOW BOARDING AT GATE 24.
(SIGHS)
(P.A. ANNOUNCER SPEAKING FRENCH)
ROSE, I HATED THE WAY WE--WE LEFT EACH OTHER.
I WANTED TO SAY GOOD-BYE TO YOU PERSONALLY, NOT THROUGH YOUR MOTHER.
I-I-I DON'T LIKE LEAVING THIS WAY,
BUT MY-MY-MY PLANE IS-IS HERE.
UM, I-I HOPE YOUR MOTHER DOESN'T ERASE THIS MESSAGE.
UM...I--(SIGHS)
I-I-I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY. (SIGHS)
(CLICK)
ROSE, I HATED THE WAY WE--WE LEFT EACH OTHER.
I WANTED TO SAY GOOD-BYE TO YOU PERSONALLY, NOT THROUGH YOUR MOTHER.
(COUGHS)
(GROANS)
YOU'RE UP EARLY.
I HAVEN'T BEEN TO BED.
YOU HAVEN'T BEEN TO BED?
NOPE.
WHY NOT?
WHAT'S THE MATTER? (SIGHS)
I HAD A LOT TO THINK ABOUT AFTER YOU LEFT. HMM.
IT'S AN AWFUL THING TO DO TO A WOMAN MY AGE--
LEAVE HER ALONE WITH HER THOUGHTS.
YOU REALLY LOVE HIM, DON'T YOU?
WELL, YOU DO. IT'S OBVIOUS.
I KNOW. (CHUCKLES)
YOU KNOW, THAT, UH,
THAT FEELING THAT...
YOU HAVE FOR GREGORY--
I DON'T THINK I EVER FELT THAT.
NOT EVEN FOR YOUR FATHER.
IT'S NOT, UH, NOT AN EASY THING FOR ME TO SAY,
ESPECIALLY TO YOU.
IT'S AN AWFUL THING TO LOOK BACK ON YOUR LIFE
AND, UH...REALIZE
THAT YOU'VE SETTLED.
THE PROBLEM WAS THAT I, UH,
I ALWAYS FELT I HAD MORE TIME.
I WAS, UH, I MEAN, NOW, I--
INSIDE I-I FEEL...
YOUNG, LIKE A KID, THAT IT'S JUST A BEGINNING,
THAT I HAVE EVERYTHING AHEAD OF ME.
BUT I DON'T.
SO...
I GUESS, UH...
I AM JEALOUS.
YOU KNOW, PARENTS, UM,
THEY DON'T HAVE A PLAN TO HURT THEIR CHILDREN.
I NEVER WANTED TO HURT YOU.
MOM, IT'S--
UH, I'M NOT THAT HURT.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I THOUGHT WHEN YOU WERE A BABY?
WHAT?
THAT YOU LOOKED JUST LIKE YOUR FATHER...
AND THAT CLAIRE LOOKED LIKE ME.
WHAT'S THAT? OH.
MMM.
SHE WAS SO PRETTY, EVEN THEN.
LOOK AT THOSE EYES, THOSE LIPS. (GIGGLES)
THAT'S NOT CLAIRE, THAT'S YOU.
ME? MM-HMM.
UH-UH. I NEVER SAW THIS PICTURE.
I FOUND IT WHEN I WAS REARRANGING THE CLOSETS.
THIS WAS ME? MM-HMM.
I--I WAS PRETTY?
MMM.
YOUR FATHER ADORED YOU.
BUT YOU KNOW THAT.
HE NEVER FELT THAT WAY ABOUT CLAIRE.
ONLY YOU.
I DON'T THINK HE EVER HELD A BABY TILL YOU CAME...
AND HE NEVER WANTED TO LET YOU GO.
I'M GLAD YOU FOUND THIS, MOM.
I KNOW. I AM, TOO.
SHE WAS VERY PRETTY.
YOU WERE VERY PRETTY.
REMEMBER THAT.
YEAH.
* SEEK AND YOU SHALL FIND
* WHAT YOU MAY ALREADY HAVE *
* SOMETIMES IT'S YOUR OWN SHADOW *
* STANDIN' IN YOUR PATH
* I HAVE SPENT MY LIFE
* WITH A VISION OF MYSELF
* BUT I MAY HAVE BEEN SOMEBODY *
* SOMEBODY ELSE MARCH IT OUT!
* I FEEL A CHANGE IN THE TIDE *
* AS I HOLD MY HEART OPEN WIDE *
* NEVER
* KNEW WHAT I COULD BE
* I NEVER FELT THE POWER
* INSIDE OF ME (PANTING) OH, GOD.
* NOW I STAND IN ALL THE WONDER * (APPLAUSE)
* THE MIRROR COULDN'T SEE THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH FOR THAT WARM WELCOME.
IT'S TRULY AN HONOR FOR ME TO BE HERE IN YOUR COUNTRY. * I HAVE THE POWER
HELLO. ROSE? * INSIDE OF ME
I-I WOULD LOVE TO SPEAK WITH YOU.
I NEVER SEEM TO CATCH YOU AT HOME.
I REALLY THINK WE SHOULD DISCUSS THIS, ROSE,
AND, BELIEVE ME, I HAVE NO JUDGMENT OVER WHAT HAPPENED.
WE SHOULD TALK. I'M LEAVING FOR VENICE TOMORROW AND WANTED TO WISH YOU A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I DO HAVE A, UH, A PRESENT FOR YOU.
IT'S A WEEK AT A BASEBALL CAMP.
ROSE, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS COLOR? * EVERY TIME I HELD A ROSE
* I ONLY FELT THE THORNS (CHATTERING, LAUGHING)
* I FEEL LIKE TODAY'S THE DAY *
* I FINALLY WAS BORN (GREGORY) HELLO. ROSE?
* NOW THAT I'VE SEEN ME THROUGH THESE EYES *
ROSE, ARE YOU THERE?
* I CAN DO MORE THAN FANTASIZE *
(GREGORY) HENRY, HAVE YOU HEARD FROM HER?
(HENRY) SHE APPARENTLY CANCELED HER SUMMER CLASSES.
HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?
I CALLED HER MOTHER. SHE SAID ROSE TOOK A COUPLE OF MONTHS OFF.
ROSE, HERE, TRY THIS ONE. IT'S A SIZE 8.
NO. I LIKE THE BLACK ONE, AND I NEED A SIZE 6.
* NOW I STAND IN ALL THE WONDER * (GREGORY) HELLO. ROSE?
* THAT THE MIRROR COULDN'T SEE * I-I'M VERY SURPRISED.
I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW CHILDISHLY YOU'RE BEHAVING. THIS SEEMS SO UNLIKE YOU.
NOW, HOW DID SHE FINALLY PERSUADE YOU TO COME?
OH, IT'S A LONG STORY.
I'VE CHANGED MY PLANS.
I'M COMING HOME RIGHT AFTER LONDON,
WHICH PUTS ME IN NEW YORK NEXT MONDAY.
UH, MY NUMBER HERE IS
-257-.
UH, ALL PRIME NUMBERS, BY THE WAY. (CHUCKLES)
(STEREO PLAYING SOFT JAZZ OF YOU DON'T KNOW ME)
HELLO?
ROSE, YOU HERE?
ROSE? HI. DON'T COME IN.
I'LL BE RIGHT OUT.
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
MAY I HAVE A GLASS, TOO, PLEASE?
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
GOOD TO SEE YOU, GREG. HOW WAS YOUR TRIP?
UH...UH...
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
O-OH, J-J-JUST A LITTLE DIZZY.
THE, UM, TRAVELING DOESN'T AGREE WITH ME.
MMM. YOU NEED A GLASS OF WATER?
W-WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?
NOTHING. I JUST MADE A FEW CHANGES.
WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR HAIR?
I LIGHTENED IT.
AND YOUR FACE?
YOU'RE WEARING MAKEUP. (GIGGLES)
YEAH, WELL, WOMEN DO WEAR MAKEUP FROM TIME TO TIME, GREG.
IT'S NOT LIKE I HAD SURGERY OR ANYTHING, ALTHOUGH MY MOTHER OFFERED.
BUT YOU NEVER, UH-- YOU HUNGRY?
Y-YOU NEVER WORE MAKEUP, UH--
I KNOW, THE-- THE NO-FRILLS GIRL, RIGHT?
WELL, LIKE I SAID, I'VE MADE A FEW CHANGES.
AND YOU LOST WEIGHT, TOO?
WELL, THANK YOU.
NOW, THESE HAVE NO OIL OR BUTTER.
TRUST ME, IT'S DELICIOUS. JUST HAVE TO GET USED TO IT.
A-AMONG OTHER THINGS. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
WHAT HAVE I DONE? I'M WEARING MAKEUP, I LOST A FEW POUNDS.
I DIDN'T NAME NAMES BEFORE A SENATE COMMITTEE.
WELL, FORGIVE ME, BUT YOU DON'T RETURN MY CALLS, YOU COMPLETELY CUT ME OFF,
AND THEN I RETURN TO FIND THIS.
I'M, UH, UH--
UH, I'M--
WHAT?
SPEECHLESS.
I GUESS YOU DON'T LIKE IT.
DON'T LIKE IT?
I'M IN SHOCK.
I COME HOME TO FIND A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT WOMAN IN MY APARTMENT.
WHY DID YOU DO IT?
WHY DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS TO YOU OR ANYBODY?
I'M NOT ANYBODY. I'M YOUR HUSBAND.
COULD'VE FOOLED ME.
AND I MARRIED A WOMAN WHO LOOKED A CERTAIN WAY.
TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I FEEL SORT OF BETRAYED.
BETRAYED? OH, PLEASE, GREGORY. COME ON.
YOU HAD NO RIGHT--
I HAD NO RIGHT?
(STEREO OFF) WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME?
DO WHAT TO YOU? I DON'T DO ANYTHING TO YOU. THAT'S THE PROBLEM.
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE WHAT I LOOK LIKE? YOU NEVER LOOKED AT ME ANYHOW.
IF PHYSICAL APPEARANCE DOESN'T MATTER, THEN WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS APPEARANCE?
I HAPPEN TO LIKE THE WAY I LOOK,
AND I'M SORRY IF IT UPSETS YOUR MATHEMATICAL EQUATION.
HANDSOME, FRIGHTENED MAN MARRIES UNATTRACTIVE, DESPERATE WOMAN.
IS THAT HOW THE AD READ?
NO, NO, IT'S SIMPLY THAT I WAS EXPECTING SOMEONE ELSE.
I-I'M SORRY. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO GET USED TO IT.
NO, YOU DON'T.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET USED TO ANYTHING.
W-WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
GREGORY...I DON'T WANT TO CONTINUE.
I-I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
UM--
I...
I REALLY WANT TO APOLOGIZE.
I SETTLED FOR SOMETHING THAT I DIDN'T WANT.
I THOUGHT I COULD LIVE WITH THAT. I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE ENOUGH, BUT, UH, I LIED.
I LIED TO MYSELF, I LIED TO YOU.
TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I THINK YOUR THEORIES ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS...
ARE TOTAL BULLSHIT.
I BELIEVE IN LOVE AND LUST AND SEX AND ROMANCE.
I DON'T WANT EVERYTHING TO ADD UP TO SOME PERFECT EQUATION.
I WANT MESS AND CHAOS.
I WANT SOMEONE TO GO CRAZY OUT OF HIS MIND FOR ME.
I WANT TO FEEL PASSION AND HEAT AND SWEAT AND MADNESS.
I WANT VALENTINES AND CUPIDS AND ALL THAT CRAP. I WANT IT ALL.
AND I WANT TO THANK YOU, GREG, BECAUSE YOU FORCED ME TO LOOK
AT THINGS I WAS TOO LAZY OR TOO SCARED TO LOOK AT.
I MEAN, CAN YOU IMAGINE ALL THIS TIME I KEPT UP THIS RIDICULOUS FANTASY
THAT YOU, LIKE ALEX, WOULD FALL IN LOVE WITH ME? R-ROSE?
I KNOW. I WAS WRONG.
IT WAS UNFAIR OF ME TO THINK YOU'D CHANGE. BUT I THINK--
I KNOW WHAT YOU THINK, AND JUST LET ME FINISH-- BUT ROSE--ROSE--ROSE--
I FEEL-- YOU FEEL STRONGLY ABOUT YOUR BELIEFS.
I APPRECIATE THAT. I'M SORRY THAT I BROKE OUR AGREEMENT.
IT'S JUST THAT I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU. STUPID, RIGHT?
ROSE, I FEEL THAT--
I DON'T WANT YOU TO FEEL BAD,
BECAUSE I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU ANYMORE.
WHAT?
WHICH, IRONICALLY, MAKES ME PERFECT FOR THIS MARRIAGE,
EXCEPT NOW I DON'T WANT IT.
SUDDENLY DINNER DOESN'T SEEM LIKE SUCH A GOOD IDEA, DOES IT?
I SHOULD-- I SHOULD GO.
W-W-WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
YOUR MOTHER'S?
JUST UNTIL I FIND MY OWN PLACE.
I HOPE AT SOME POINT WE CAN PICK UP WHERE WE LEFT OFF...
AS FRIENDS.
FRIENDS? I REALLY DO THANK YOU, GREG.
YOU'RE THE FIRST MAN WHO WANTED TO MARRY ME... FOR ANY REASON.
CAN I CALL YOU TOMORROW? (DOOR OPENS)
WHAT FOR?
(DOOR CLOSES)
OHH.
(PANTING)
(ROSE) YOU ALL HAVE COPIES OF THE SYLLABUS, RIGHT? (ALL) YES.
THERE WILL BE FOUR SHORT PAPERS ON ASSIGNED TEXTS.
BE PREPARED TO ALSO... YO.
HMM? TEACHER'S HOT.
SOME OF MY STUDENTS FROM LAST TERM,
UH, CAN TELL YOU HOW IMPORTANT THESE ORAL DISCUSSIONS ARE...
IN, UH... WHAT? WHAT? (SNICKERING)
YES, I HAVE BREASTS. (LAUGHING)
THEY CANNOT, HOWEVER, BE THE SUBJECT OF ONE OF YOUR PAPERS.
NOW... (GREGORY) HEY, DOUBLE PLAY.
OF COURSE I'LL MISS SPENDING TIME WITH HER,
BUT I FEEL PROUD THAT I, UH, I STOOD UP FOR WHAT I BELIEVE.
I STILL THINK I WAS RIGHT. COULD'VE WORKED.
OBVIOUSLY NOT WITH HER,
BUT I THINK IT WAS AN INVALUABLE EXPERIENCE.
YOU'RE IN PRETTY BAD SHAPE, AREN'T YOU?
WHAT? I JUST TOLD YOU... MAY I MAKE A SUGGESTION?
PUT ALL YOUR VALUABLE POSSESSIONS, THINGS YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT,
IN STORAGE.
WHY? TRUST ME ON THIS,
YOU DON'T WANT ANYTHING BREAKABLE IN YOUR APARTMENT.
HENRY, I JUST TOLD YOU, I'M FINE!
REALLY! I'M ACTUALLY USING ALL OF THIS IN MY NEXT BOOK.
ESPECIALLY GLASS.
(ROSE) I MISS HIM, CLAIRE,
BUT I DON'T THINK HE'S READY FOR ME. MMM.
(SIGHS) STILL CAN'T GET USED TO SEEING YOU LIKE THIS.
SORT OF UNNERVING.
THANKS.
MAKES YOU JUST LIKE THE REST OF US, DOESN'T IT? YOU'LL SEE.
NOW YOU'LL SPEND AN EXTRA HOUR IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR EVERY MORNING AND EVERY NIGHT,
AS IF IT'LL MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE.
NOW YOU'LL BE THE ONE TO WALK INTO A ROOM AND SCAN IT FOR WHO LOOKS BETTER THAN YOU
AND WHO DOESN'T.
AND AS THE YEARS GO BY, THE NUMBERS CHANGE,
TILL ONE DAY YOU WALK INTO A ROOM AND YOU'RE THE LAST WOMAN ANY MAN NOTICES.
ROSE?
MY GOD. ROSE!
HI, ALEX. (ALEX LAUGHS)
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S YOU. MY GOD!
ALEX, GET A FUCKIN' GRIP.
YOU LOOK INCREDIBLE. THANK YOU.
DOESN'T SHE LOOK INCREDIBLE? WE ALREADY COVERED THAT.
CAN I HAVE ANOTHER DRINK?
(WOMEN SINGING OPERA)
(CLEARS THROAT)
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
I THOUGHT YOU HATED SALAD. I DO.
I JUST CAN'T EAT A BIG CHEESEBURGER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY ANYMORE.
DOESN'T IT BLOAT YOU? BLOAT ME?
YEAH. NO, IT DOESN'T BLOAT ME.
ACTUALLY, I THOUGHT IT WENT REALLY WELL
WITH THE SPARE RIBS I HAD FOR BREAKFAST THIS MORNING.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
(SIGHS) I'M SORRY.
I JUST THOUGHT WE'D ALWAYS BE IN THE SAME BOAT, YOU KNOW?
IT MADE IT EASIER, SOMEHOW.
I KNOW.
TELL YOU WHAT.
I'LL GIVE YOU HALF MY SALAD IF YOU GIVE ME HALF YOUR BURGER.
(GIGGLES)
WE'LL NEED SOME MORE DRESSING.
DEFINITELY.
WAITER! WAITER!
(WOMAN ON TV) WE ALL WANT TO BE ATTRACTIVE.
BUT REMEMBER, ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS PEOPLE NOTICE,
THE ONE THING THAT MAKES
A LASTING IMPRESSION IS YOUR SMILE.
IF YOU'RE LIKE MOST PEOPLE,
YOUR APPEARANCE IS IMPORTANT TO YOU.
WE ALL SPEND SO MUCH TIME, ENERGY, AND MONEY IN AN EFFORT TO LOOK OUR BEST.
YEAH.
WE ALL WANT TO BE ATTRACTIVE-- (TV CLICKS OFF)
(SIGHS)
UGH!
(RINGS)
HELLO. HELLO, ROSE. IT'S ALEX.
OH, HI, ALEX.
HOW ARE YOU?
OH, I'M OKAY. I'M TRYING TO GET ON WITH MY LIFE.
OH, GOOD, GOOD.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? CLAIRE'S GONE.
GONE? YEAH.
GONE WHERE?
I CAME HOME TO SURPRISE HER DURING LUNCH,
AND I FOUND HER IN BED WITH HER MASSEUR.
IT'S MY OWN FAULT, REALLY.
CLAIRE HATES SURPRISES.
ALEX, I'M REALLY SORRY.
NO, NO. I KNEW IT WAS COMING.
I DON'T KNOW WHY SHE WASN'T HAPPY.
I DON'T KNOW HOW I COULD'VE LOVED HER ANY MORE THAN I DID.
I DON'T THINK IT WOULD'VE MATTERED HOW MUCH YOU LOVED HER.
ROSE, DID YOU KNOW THAT CLAIRE WAS JEALOUS OF YOU?
(CHUCKLES) WHAT? JEALOUS OF ME? OH, YES. OH, YES.
SHE USED TO GET SO MAD AT ME EVERY TIME I'D TALK ABOUT YOU.
SHE THOUGHT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON YOU.
MAYBE SHE WAS RIGHT.
DO YOU WANT TO HAVE DINNER WITH ME?
WHAT?
I'M ASKING YOU IF YOU WANT TO HAVE DINNER WITH ME.
I, UH... I HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT.
I'LL HAVE TO ASK CLAIRE.
ALL RIGHT.
OKAY.
"D"! CONGRATULATIONS. YOU'RE IMPROVING.
I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU WERE SAYING ABOUT TWIN PRIMES.
I'M EXPLAINING IT TO YOU.
BUT I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND!
DON'T YOU KNOW THAT IT'S POSSIBLE
TO REMOVE AN INFINITE NUMBER OF ELEMENTS FROM AN INFINITE SET
AND STILL HAVE AN INFINITE NUMBER OF ELEMENTS LEFT OVER?
WE'VE SPENT QUITE A BIT OF TIME ON THIS ALREADY!
CHRIST! MY WIFE UNDERSTOOD THIS ON OUR FIRST DATE!
CLASS DISMISSED.
(STUDENTS MURMURING)
GET OUT OF HERE! GO! GO!
GO!
(SIGH)
(ROSE) VERY ENJOYABLE DINNER. (ALEX) GOOD.
DID YOU COOK IT YOURSELF?
YES, I DID.
(LAUGHS) WHAT A LIAR.
YES, I AM. (CHUCKLES)
MMM. WHAT?
I WAS THINKING,
I ONLY SMOKE WHEN I'M WITH YOU.
WONDER WHY.
I CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR THE OTHER DAY...
FOR TONIGHT.
YOU'RE SUCH AN INSPIRATION...
THE WAY YOU'VE CHANGED--
EVOLVED, I GUESS, IS A BETTER WORD...
INTO THIS...BEAUTIFUL...
SMART...
VERY SEXY...
(MOANS)
I THINK I MUST HAVE LOVED YOU ALL ALONG.
I JUST...
DIDN'T KNOW IT.
WHAT AN IDIOT.
HANNAH, THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
GREGORY, I REALLY CAN'T TALK NOW.
HANNAH, SHE CAN'T NOT TALK TO ME FOREVER!
I-I'VE GOT THE-- GREGORY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
THERE'S CERTAIN THINGS I HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO HER. (LOUD CLATTERING)
I THINK IT'S A LITTLE LATE FOR THAT, GREGORY. WHAT?
I SAID IT'S A LITTLE LATE FOR THAT, GREGORY.
NO. I DON'T THINK SO!
WHAT ROSE AND I HAVE, UH, GOES FAR BEYOND
WHAT NORMAL PEOPLE... WHAT'S ALL THAT NOISE?
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY, GREGORY?
PEOPLE, UH... GREGORY, WHAT IS GOING ON?
WILL YOU JUST... GREGORY?
HANNAH! PUT HER ON THE GODDAMN PHONE RIGHT NOW!
SHE'S NOT HERE. WHAT?
LOOK, I MIGHT AS WELL TELL YOU. SHE'S WITH ALEX NOW.
ALEX?
SHE'S WITH HIM TONIGHT. HE AND CLAIRE SPLIT UP.
I'M SURE YOU KNOW HOW MUCH SHE'S ALWAYS CARED FOR HIM,
SO LIKE I SAID, I SEE NO POINT IN YOUR PURSUING THIS ANY FURTHER.
(DIAL TONE)
(HANGS UP RECEIVER)
I'M SO SORRY TO HAVE KEPT YOU WAITING.
SO, MR. JENKINS, WHICH ONE DO YOU LIKE BEST?
WELL, TO BE PERFECTLY HONEST, UH,
I THINK YOU'RE MORE BEAUTIFUL NOW.
GOOD ANSWER.
(MOANING)
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT? WHAT'S THE MATTER?
WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY YOU MUST'VE LOVED ME
ALL ALONG BUT JUST DIDN'T KNOW IT?
I DON'T KNOW. YEAH, WELL, FIGURE IT OUT, 'CAUSE I'D LIKE AN ANSWER.
YOU WERE DIFFERENT THEN. YOU WEREN'T THE SAME AS YOU ARE NOW.
SO HOW COULD YOU HAVE LOVED ME THEN? WELL, I-I--
I LOVED YOU BECAUSE OF WHO YOU WERE, NOT BECAUSE I WANTED WHO YOU WERE.
SO NOW YOU WANT WHO I AM BECAUSE I'M NOT WHO I WAS ANYMORE?
OKAY...
WHAT? ROSE, WHAT? WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
YOU KNOW SOMETHING?
I HAVE DREAMT ABOUT THIS MOMENT FROM THE FIRST DAY WE MET.
I'VE PLAYED IT OUT A MILLION TIMES IN MY MIND--
HOW YOU'D LOOK, WHAT YOU'D SAY, WHAT YOU'D THINK,
AND GUESS WHAT. WHAT?
YOU WERE BETTER IN MY HEAD.
MAYBE I JUST HAD TOO MUCH TO DRINK.
NO, NO, IT'S NOT YOU. IT'S ME.
I DON'T FEEL ANYTHING! ISN'T THAT GREAT?
I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT I WOULD FEEL.
I WAS ONLY THINKING ABOUT YOU. I ONLY WANTED TO MAKE YOU HAPPY.
I NEVER THOUGHT I WAS GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU.
OH, BUT YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME, ROSE. YOU ARE!
I KNOW, I KNOW!
BUT, ALEX, YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.
OKAY. (DOOR CLOSES)
(GREGORY) OH, SHE'S WITH ALEX NOW, HENRY.
OH, GOD. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS, MY HEAD OR MY STOMACH.
HERE. DRINK THIS. COME ON, LIE DOWN.
I THINK I MIGHT HAVE CHINESE FOOD POISONING.
HERE. GIVE ME YOUR COAT. ORDERED SZECHUAN CHICKEN BUT THEY BROUGHT BEEF,
EXCEPT THEY FORGET IT WAS CAT.
CAT? (GROANS)
I'M SO DIZZY. EASY. EASY.
I WAS IN THE APARTMENT ALL ALONE, HENRY.
I--I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
COME ON, GIVE ME YOUR SHOE.
I'M SORRY, HENRY. IT'S OKAY.
YOU'LL JUST STAY HERE TONIGHT. COME ON.
OH, HENRY. YES, GREG?
I LOVE ROSE.
I KNOW.
BUT I LOVE THE OLD ROSE,
THE ONE WITH NO MAKEUP AND BAGGY CLOTHES WHO LOVES THE PERFECT BITE.
I LOVE HER. IT'S REAL!
I-IT'S NOT BASED ON PASSION, ALTHOUGH I FEEL THAT,
OR--OR LUST...
ALTHOUGH I FEEL THAT,
O-OR EVEN PHYSICAL ATTRACTION,
BECAUSE SHE WASN'T, UH--
UH, A-ALTHOUGH I THOUGHT SHE WAS QUITE BEAUTIFUL--
HER EYES, HER MOUTH,
THE WAY SHE HELD HERSELF,
THE WAY SHE MADE FUN OF HERSELF.
SHE EATS CARROTS NOW!
ISN'T THAT TRAGIC?
MMM.
WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
DO YOU KNOW THAT IN THE LAST TWO YEARS
I'VE BEEN WITH 11 DIFFERENT WOMEN, MOST OF THEM HALF MY AGE?
NOT ONE WITH A SENSE OF HUMOR I UNDERSTOOD.
NOW, I DON'T DATE THESE GIRLS BECAUSE THEY'RE WELL-READ.
I GAVE ONE A COPY OF A FAREWELL TO ARMS.
SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A DIET BOOK.
(LAUGHS)
MMM.
CAN I HELP YOU? HI. I WANT TO SEE A MISS MORGAN. 3-B.
IT'S KINDA LATE TO BE VISITING PEOPLE. PLEASE RING HER APARTMENT.
I DON'T BELIEVE MISS MORGAN WOULD CARE TO BE DISTURBED AT THIS HOUR.
YOU DON'T BELIEVE? IT'S 6:00 IN THE MORNING.
I BELIEVE! I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU BELIEVE.
I KNOW HER A LOT BETTER THAN YOU DO. GO HOME, PAL!
ROSE!
HEY! HEY!
(HANNAH) DO YOU HEAR THAT? HMM?
(DOORMAN) I'M GOING TO CALL THE POLICE! ROSE!
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? ROSE!
(DOORMAN) GO HOME! ROSE!
(HANNAH) IT'S HIM, ISN'T IT? GREGORY. WHA--
GET AWAY FROM THE GODDAMN BUILDING. DON'T TOUCH ME!
OH, MY GOD! OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
ROSE! ROSE! WHERE ARE MY SHOES? (GIGGLING)
WHAT DOES HE THINK HE'S DOING OUT THERE AT THIS HOUR?
MOTHER, I'VE GOTTA GO AND FIND OUT.
(DOORMAN) GO HOME! HE'S INSANE.
I KNOW. ISN'T IT WONDERFUL?
ROSE! (WOMAN) SHUT UP!
LET GO! (GRUNTING) YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?
GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!
DON'T YOU KNOW PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP? (MAN) PIPE DOWN!
COME ON, COME ON. YOU HAD ENOUGH?
(GRUNTS) STOP THAT! EDDIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
(PANTING) DON'T WORRY. I'LL CALL THE POLICE.
DON'T CALL THE POLICE. THIS IS MY HUSBAND. (GROANING)
HE DOESN'T HAVE A KEY? DON'T ASK.
I TOLD YOU I KNEW HER BETTER THAN YOU. ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
WHAT IS GOING ON? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
WELL, I-I-I CAME TO SEE YOU. WHY?
WHY DID YOU COME TO SEE ME? WELL, I-I, UH--
IN LIGHT OF OUR LAST CONVERSATION AND AFTER SPEAKING WITH HENRY,
I-I-I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT, UH,
A-A-ALTHOUGH YOU MIGHT HAVE SIGNIFICANT RESERVATIONS ABOUT E-EVEN CONSIDERING--
GREGORY, I'M AGING HERE. WHAT IS IT YOU WANT TO SAY?
GOD, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU, GREGORY.
ROSE--
(SIGHS)
WHAT?
I'M SO SORRY...
FOR THE WAY I ACTED, AND...
FOR THE THINGS I SAID, I-- OHH.
I-I KNOW THAT I HURT YOU-- IT'S OKAY.
IT'S THE ONE THING IN THE WORLD THAT I DIDN'T-- I UNDERSTAND.
I ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY. ROSE, PLEASE LET ME FINISH.
THIS IS IMPORTANT FOR ME TO SAY.
OKAY.
THAT NIGHT-- THA-THAT TERRIBLE NIGHT--
I--
I-I WANTED YOU SO MUCH, I COULDN'T SEE STRAIGHT.
YOU DID? YES, I--
I HAVE TO MAKE SURE YOU KNOW THAT.
IT WASN'T YOU. BECAUSE I THOUGHT--
NO, IT WASN'T YOU, ROSE.
YOU'RE A VERY-- A VERY SEXY GIRL.
AND--AND I-I KNOW...
THAT I-IT'S NOT FAIR OF ME TO SAY THAT NOW THAT YOU'RE WITH ALEX, BUT...
WHO SAID I-- WHO SAID THAT? WHO SAID I WAS WITH ALEX?
YOUR MOTHER.
MY MOTHER? OH, GREAT.
(LAUGHS) OH, GREGORY.
I'M NOT WITH ALEX.
YOU'RE NOT?
MM-MMM.
W-WELL...
TALK TO ME.
ROSE... UH-HUH?
I LOVE YOU.
AND I-I-I WANT TO BE MARRIED TO YOU.
GREGORY...
YOU ARE MARRIED TO ME.
I--THAT'S RIGHT.
THAT'S RIGHT! I--
OH, GOD-- WHAT?
I'M GETTING A LITTLE DIZZY. OH, NO, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
IT'LL PASS. JUST HOLD ON TO ME.
ROSE, DON'T EVER LEAVE ME AGAIN.
I'M NOT LEAVING YOU. I LOVE YOU. (MOANING, KISSING SOUNDS)
I COULDN'T STAND BEING AWAY FROM YOU. IT WAS KILLING ME. OH, I'M SO GLAD.
I DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE PRETTY. I LOVE YOU ANYWAY. (LAUGHS)
EVERYTHING'S GONNA DROP AS I GET OLDER, AND I'M GAINING WEIGHT AS WE SPEAK.
WELL, THAT'S COMFORTING.
LUCIANO PAVAROTTI SINGING PUCCINI'S NESSUN DORMA)
(LOUD SINGING CONTINUES)
(LIP SYNCHING TO STEREO)
(MUSIC ENDS)
(I FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE PLAYS)
(BRYAN ADAMS) * I FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE
* THAT KNOCKS ME OFF MY FEET *
* I FINALLY FOUND THE ONE *
* THAT MAKES ME FEEL COMPLETE *
(BARBRA STREISAND) * IT STARTED OVER COFFEE
* WE STARTED OUT AS FRIENDS *
* IT'S FUNNY HOW FROM SIMPLE THINGS *
* THE BEST THINGS BEGIN
* THIS TIME IT'S DIFFERENT
* IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU
* IT'S BETTER THAN IT'S EVER BEEN *
* 'CAUSE WE CAN TALK IT THROUGH *
* OOH, MY FAVORITE LINE
* WAS "CAN I CALL YOU SOMETIME?" *
* IT'S ALL YOU HAD TO SAY TO TAKE MY BREATH AWAY *
* THIS IS IT OHH *
* I FINALLY
* FOUND SOMEONE
* SOMEONE TO SHARE MY LIFE *
* I FINALLY FOUND THE ONE
* TO BE WITH EVERY NIGHT
*'CAUSE WHATEVER I DO *
* IT'S JUST GOT TO BE YOU
* MY LIFE HAS JUST BEGUN
* I FINALLY FOUND
* SOMEONE
* OOH, SOMEONE
* I FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE
* OOH
* DID I KEEP YOU WAITING? * I DIDN'T MIND
* I APOLOGIZE * BABY, THAT'S FINE
* I WOULD WAIT FOREVER JUST TO KNOW YOU ARE MINE *
* YA KNOW, I LOVE YOUR HAIR * ARE YOU SURE IT LOOKS RIGHT? *
* I LOVE WHAT YOU WEAR * ISN'T IT TOO TIGHT?
* YOU'RE EXCEPTIONAL
* I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE *
* THIS IS IT
* OH, I FINALLY
* FOUND SOMEONE
* SOMEONE TO SHARE MY LIFE
* I FINALLY FOUND THE ONE
* TO BE WITH EVERY NIGHT
* 'CAUSE WHATEVER I DO
* IT'S JUST GOT TO BE YOU *
* OH, YEAH...
GET IN, LADY.
OH, NO, NOT YOU AGAIN.
YOU KNOW THIS GUY? DON'T ASK.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. YOUR WINDOWS ARE STILL BROKE?
COMPLAIN TO THE CAB COMPANY. I GOT NOTHIN' TO DO WITH IT.
* AND WHATEVER I DO
* IT'S JUST GOT TO BE YOU
* OOH, MY LIFE HAS JUST BEGUN *
* I FINALLY FOUND
* SOMEONE *